KWIRKEGARD

Real Name: Unrevealed

Identity/Class: Human, technology user

Occupation: Mad philosopher

Group Membership: None

Affiliations: None

Enemies: Iron Man (Tony Stark)

Known Relatives: None

Aliases: None

Base of Operations: New York City

First Appearance: Hostess pie ad "City Crisis" (March, 1977, found in Spectacular Spider-Man II#4, Amazing Spider-Man I#166, etc.)

Powers/Abilities: Kwirkegard wielded the Existential Depression Ray, a device which could cause people to become depressed. The only known protection against the ray was the laughter of children.

History: (Hostess pie ad) - Kwirkegard decided to teach the rest of humanity a lesson about the sad truth of life, and fired his Existential Depression Ray into New York City's water supply. Before long, most of the city was overcome with depression, with the exception of children.

When Iron Man tracked down Kwirkegard, he fired the ray at him and nearly brought him low with depression, but when Iron Man heard the laughter of children, he returned to his senses, and knocked Kwirkegard out. Iron Man then asked the children to save the rest of New York with their laughter.

Comments: Creators unknown.

Of all the Hostess villains, only Icemaster has shown up in an Earth-616 title. He could have crossed over to Earth-616 from "Earth-Hostess," but I say leave them on Earth-616 until proven otherwise. Nonetheless, until they do show up in regular continuity, they remain outside regular canon. Surely someone will write a story teaming them all together.---Snood.