Membership: "Your Nakedness," Ironists, Sensitivists, various unnamed others
Purpose: To worship God and not offend him by wearing clothing
Affiliations: None
Enemies: Iron Man, Mr. Sensitive, Surrender Monkey
Base of Operations: a church in southern France
First Appearance: X-Statix#24 (August, 2004)
History: (X-Statix#24) - The Church of the Naked Truth lived in relative peace and nudity until a battle between the X-Statix member, the Orphan, and the Armored Avenger himself, Iron Man, erupted in the air high above the church. Their battle continued throughout the grounds of the church, destroying pieces of the centuries-old church. Eventually, their battle was stopped by the "Nakedness," the elderly head of the church, who demanded that the two stop fighting or at least, take off their clothes, given that the clothes offended the church and dirtied their holy ground. The Orphan and Iron Man argued over which of them should get possession of the piece of Doop's brain located within the church, but the "Nakedness" claimed that he would discuss the brain's whereabouts with one of them, and that one better be naked as the day he was born. As the two heroes discussed the prospect, the "Nakedness" met with "Surrender Monkey," who bribed the leader with clothing and told him not to give the brain piece to either hero.
One of the followers of the church later ran up the stairs and discovered the church's leader wearing clothes, while the Orphan and Iron Man battled outside. Their battle was interrupted when the members of the church passed them, carrying "Surrender Monkey" and the old man outside with the brain piece. The Orphan recognized "Surrender Monkey" and he watched as the members of the church began tearing the clothing off the "Monkey" and the old man, claiming that they were heretics to the cause of the church. As the mob de-clothed "Surrender Monkey," they revealed him as rogue C. I. A. Agent Brad Bentley, who was trying to safeguard the brain piece from either the Orphan or Iron Man. Bentley explained that after the build-up of the Iraq War, his job was to harden U. S. attitudes towards old world countries, France, in particular. He then explained that while he was on his mission in France, he became enamored with the country and its nudity. The old man then claimed that he would gladly give the brain piece to whomever protected him from the angry mob of church members. Before either hero could help, however, they once again erupted into a battle over who got the brain piece, with the Orphan eventually taking Iron Man down. The Orphan left the brain piece for Iron Man to claim, though, in an attempt to be different than the old X-Force team leader, Cable. After the Avengers and X-Statix left France, the Church of Naked Truth broke into factions, the Ironists and the Sensitivists, which were in a constant state of war with one another, just like the Orphan and Iron Man, of whom they were basing their religions on.
Comments: Created by Peter Milligan, Mike Allred, and Nick Craine.
Clarifications:
No known connection to
THE IRONISTS
& THE SENSITIVISTS
When the Church of the Naked Truth split into factions following their
encounter with Iron Man and the Orphan, they split into both the Ironists
and the Sensitivists, each based on either of the heroes that they encountered.
The Ironists originally had the ascendancy of the Church until they were
usurped by the Sensitivists and the Church eventually went the way of so
many religious groups that had once occupied the Church: they all killed
each other.
-- X-Statix#24
"YOUR
NAKEDNESS"
The leader of the Church of the Naked Truth, or "Your Nakedness" as everyone called him, halted the battle between the Orphan and Iron Man and demanded that they either stop fighting or take off their clothes in respect to the Church. Iron Man and the Orphan explained that they were each looking for a piece of Doop's missing brain, but "Your Nakedness" told them that he would only tell one of them where it was located, and that one better be naked as the day he was born. Returning to the Church, "Your Nakedness" met with Brad Bentley, disguised as Surrender Monkey, who convinced him to not hand over the brain piece and also to put some clothes on. When a member of the Church discovered the leader in clothing, the members of the Church formed an angry mob and began de-pantsing "Your Nakedness" and Brad Bentley, revealing Bentley's disguise. After Brad was discovered, the "Nakedness" claimed that he would give the brain piece to whomever rescued him from the angry churchgoers.
-- X-Statix#24
images:
X-Statix#24
p2, pan2 (Church group shot)
p8, pan5 ("Your Nakedness")
p18, pan4 (Brad Bentley)
p22, pan3 (Ironists & Sensitivists)
Last updated: 06/27/06.
Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.
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