HOWARD THE DUCK #1

Script

Created & Written by

STEVE GERBER

Script Submitted:

4/11/85

MARVEL COMICS GROUP

IMPORTANT NOTICE

Gerber.

All characters appearing in the text -- with the exceptions

of CHIRREEP, POPORB, THE AROUNDER, THE WITHINER, THE

AMONGER, THE UNDERNEATHER, THE BETWEENER, and OF -- are

trademarks of the Marvel Comics Group.

That alone should deter you from attempting to copy this

script to sell for profit.

Trust me -- they'll sue.

You may, however, download this text and copy it to your

heart's content for your own use and to distribute to your

friends, neighbors, or anyone else who cares to read it (as

long as you don't charge for those copies) since it will

never see publication in comic book form.

ALL SUCH COPIES MUST INCLUDE THIS NOTICE!

Here's hoping you enjoy reading this as much as I did

writing it.

---Steve Gerber

PAGE ONE

(1)

FULL-PAGE SPLASH: LARGE CLOSEUP OF HOWARD THE DUCK

falling straight toward the reader through some other-

dimensional space. (The backdrop should NOT be black.)

Howard's upended lower body-- NOTE: HE IS NOT WEARING

PANTS!-- and webbed feet take up most of the background, but

we see hints of some Dr. Strange-type geometric abstractions

behind him. He looks half out of his mind, eyes looking two

different directions, beak wide open, cigar perched like a

seesaw on the edge of the beak. He's grabbing the brim of

his hat with both hands, pulling it down in frustration, as

he screams straight at the reader!

HOWARD: (BURST; LETTERS OPEN FOR COLOR) WHAT IS

REALITY--

HOWARD: (SAME) --AN' WHAT DOES IT WANT FROM ME,

ANYHOW?!?

BLURB: As part of Marvel's ongoing effort to ad-

dress these and other pressing questions

of our age...

SIGNATURE

LINE: STAN LEE PRESENTS:

TITLE: HOWARD THE DUCK'S SECRET CRISIS II

BLURB: A continuity-fraught TWO-PART HYPO-SERIES

destined to change the course of the

Marvel Universe for hours, perhaps days!

CREDITS:

Created & Written by Illustrated by Inking by

STEVE GERBER (ARTIST NAME) (INKER NAME)

Letterer's name, Letterer JIM SHOOTER

Colorist's name, Colorist Editor

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 2.

PAGE TWO

(1)

A ROLLED-UP NEWSPAPER lands on the porch of an ordinary sub-

urban house.

BLURB: It's six-thirty a.m., on what should be an

ordinary weekday morning, in an ordinary

suburban neighborhood...

(2)

SLIGHTLY LONGER SHOT: The door of the house has opened to

reveal RONALD THE DUCK-- Howard's father as portrayed in HTD

BLACK & WHITE MAGAZINE #6. He's still half-asleep, dressed

in a bathrobe, and leaning over to pick up the paper.

BLURB: ...on the dimensional plane known as DUCK-

WORLD.

BLURB: As is his daily routine, RONALD THE DUCK--

devoted husband, father of three--

shuffles drowsily to the door for a

breath of air and his copy of the NEW

STORK TIMES.

(3)

SLIGHTLY LONGER SHOT. A dark shadow has fallen over Ronald.

He looks up and reacts with horror to something he sees off-

panel!

BLURB: He inhales deeply-- and the stench of SULFUR

assaults his lungs.

BLURB: That shocks him to wakefulness-- and to the

terrifying realization that this morning

will NOT be like any other.

(4)

WIDE ANGLE: A wedge of thick, billowing YELLOW-GREY GLOP is

spreading across the sky, blotting out the sun! At the apex

of the wedge, soaring across the sky, is a TINY (from this

distance) FIGURE ON A SURFBOARD! The glop seems to be pour-

ing out of the surfboard as it flies-- like exhaust fumes.

On the ground, Ronald's neighbors-- ducks, chickens, geese--

are running down the street, screaming in terror.

BLURB: For on this morning, a billowing GLOP

spreads across the sky, choking off the

sunlight...

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 3.

BLURB: ...shrouding the world in a final DARKNESS

that precedes its END.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 4.

PAGE THREE

(1)

EXT. NEW STORK CITY ROOFTOP - WIDE ANGLE

FEATURING DUCKTOR STRANGE and TRUMAN CAPOULTRY (also from

HTD B&W #6) gaze up at the glop, which is spreading across

the sky here, too. Strange holds a bottle of booze in one

hand and waves the other in a tremulous mystical gesture,

trying to conjure the stuff away. Capoultry screams at him

to try harder.

BLURB: Some miles away, on a New Stork City

rooftop, DUCKTOR STRANGE, master of the

mystic arts, and author TRUMAN CAPOULTRY

also observe the phenomenon.

CAPOULTRY: Try another THPELL, Thtrange! The glop'th

thtill THPREADING!

STRANGE: =hic= By the RIPPLED RINGSH OF HUMIDOR, I

=hic= banish you, glop!!

VOICE: (OFF-PANEL) Alas, feathered one, mere sor-

cery could not stop these events-- even

if you were SOBER.

(2)

Angle past Strange and Capoultry to THE THROWAWAY. He's be-

hind them, floating down to the rooftop, legs together, arms

folded over his chest, eyes staring blankly as if entranced.

Strange and Capoultry are whirling around to look at him.

He wears a long flowing cloak-- it would be floor-length if

he were standing on a floor-- that wraps completely around

him, and a cowl that conceals his face completely. Only his

GLOWING EYES are visible in the shadow of the cowl.

THROWAWAY: The CONSUMPTION of your world was ordained

by a far greater power--

CAPOULTRY: My goodneth! A HAIRLETH APE!

THROWAWAY: --greater even than the one who shall EAT

your planet.

(3)

The Throwaway, still hovering just above the roof, points

skyward dramatically. Capoultry and Strange gape up at him.

THROWAWAY: For yon glop, as you call it, is merely the

GRAVY on the feast--

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 5.

THROWAWAY: --ladelled across your sky by him who wields

the POWER SULFURIC.

STRANGE & CAPOULTRY: (TWO POINTERS FROM BALLOON) WHO--??

(4)

Wide angle shot of roof. THE SULFUR SURFER-- grimy black

from head to toe, but otherwise resembling the Silver

Surfer-- shoots across panel on his surfboard, trailing a

cloud of emissions behind him. Strange and Capoultry are

covered with the stuff. It never touches Throwaway, who

gestures at the Surfer like a ringmaster introducing an act.

THROWAWAY: BEHOLD-- men call him THE SULFUR SURFER--

THROWAWAY: --but he is "HAROLD" to GALACTONGUE!

(5)

Small panel. Capoultry and Strange, blackened with sulfur

emissions, stare awestruck at the off-panel Throwaway.

CAPOULTRY: There'th NOTHING we can do-- we're DOOMED?!

THROWAWAY: (OFF-PANEL) Not "we"-- YOU. I cannot die.

(6)

Small panel. Throwaway reaches melodramatically up to take

hold of his cowl, preparing to pull it back.

THROWAWAY: For I am...THROWAWAY, he who is disposed to

WHINE.

THROWAWAY: Such is my fate. As your world and infinite

others meet their destruction, I shall

bear helpless witness to the horror...

(7)

Small panel. Tight closeup on Throwaway. He pulls back his

cloak, revealing a face that looks like a demented CABBAGE

PATCH DOLL. His glowing eyes bulge almost out of their

sockets, and his features are frozen in an expression of re-

vulsion-- as if someone had shoved a rotten banana up his

nose.

THROWAWAY: ...and go "ewwwwgh."

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 6.

PAGE FOUR

(1)

THE RONALD DUCK FAMILY

Ronald, his wife HENRIETTA, and his children THERESA and

ORVILLE, huddle together on the porch, in the darkness, as

the end comes.

BLURB: Back in suburbia, Ronald hugs Henrietta and

the children close to him.

BLURB: And in these last moments, his thoughts turn

sadly to his MISSING son, to HOWARD,

whom he will never see again.

(2)

DUCKTOR STRANGE & TRUMAN CAPOULTRY

Strange holds his bottle straight up, pouring the last of

its contents into his mouth, oblivious to Capoultry, who is

diving over the edge of the roof. We see Throwaway's boots

near top of panel as he floats away again.

BLURB: Strange prepares for the coming ingurgita-

tion with an APERITIF...

BLURB: ...while Capoultry seizes back the power of

life and death from his would-be

destroyer's hands.

(3)

LARGER PANEL - DUCKWORLD SEEN FROM SPACE

In foreground, the Sulfur Surfer zips away from the planet--

which is now engulfed in glop, like a gooey bonbon. Hover-

ing hungrily AROUND the planet is a pair of GIGANTIC RUBY-

RED LIPS. A HUGE TONGUE extends out from the lips and UNDER

the planet, ABOUT TO SLURP IT UP! (Picture a cosmic version

of the old Rolling Stones Records logo.)

BLURB: The predator, however, has no hands. In

ever sense of the word, it is ALL MOUTH.

SURFER: Your supper, GALACTONGUE.

GALACTONGUE: Thank you, Harold.

(4)

SAME ANGLE: BUT NOW THE PLANET IS GONE AND THE TONGUE IS

SMACKING THE GRINNING RUBY LIPS!

SFX: (AT LEFT OF LIPS) =SLURRRP=

SFX: (AT RIGHT OF LIPS) =SMMAAKK=

GALACTONGUE: Mm-MMM! Dee-lish!

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 7.

VOICE: (OFF-PANEL; BURST; CONNECT TO FOLLOWING BAL-

LOON) NO-- NOT AGAIN!!

VOICE: (POINTER TO BOTTOM OF PANEL) That's the

47th scenario-- and every time, DUCK-

WORLD DIES!!

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 8.

PAGE FIVE

(1)

EXT. DESOLATE VALLEY ON PLANET KRYLOR - A MULTI-DOMED STONE

STRUCTURE - NIGHT

The structure rests on the floor of the otherwise deserted

valley. The structure looks primitive and futuristic all at

once. It has one large rough hewn stone dome (not in the

center) and several smaller domes attached to it by short

stone tunnels. The structure should in no way look sym-

metrical. The floor of the valley is dull and grey-- vol-

canic ash.

BLURB: The VALLEY OF ASHES, on the planet KRYLOR:

home of CHIRREEP, techno-artist in

EXILE.

VOICE: (FROM INSIDE MAIN DOME) Mass destruction is

a DOWNER! People don't want to SEE

downers!

VOICE: Why do you keep feeding the same VIDSTREAM

into the FICTIONATOR?

(2)

INT. MAIN DOME - WIDE ANGLE FEATURING CHIRREEP--

--A KRYLORIAN TECHNO-ARTIST like BEREET [see INCREDIBLE HULK

#269-287 and MARVEL UNIVERSE HANDBOOK #6, pg. 31 for refer-

ence], but not nearly as successful. The main dome of this

structure is her studio.

Chirreep is a Krylorian Cyndi Lauper-- cute, but weird: ris-

ing from the very center of her head is a blue, spiky,

feather plume, at least two feet high; she wears a one-piece

sarong-like garment that sits on her hips at a provocative

angle, much higher on one side than the other; on the more

exposed leg, she wears a boot that comes up over her knee;

on the less exposed leg, she wears an ankle-high boot and

striped leotard-type legging.

She's seated at the Krylorian equivalent of a movieola. In-

stead of a screen, it has a multi-faceted gem about the size

of a basketball. Hovering over the gem is one of Chirreep's

techno-art creations, called POPORB-- essentially a giant

floating eye with long lashes and heavy mascara. A beam

from the eye is aiming into the gem, and in the facets of

the gem, we see scenes from the previous three pages-- the

destruction of Duckworld.

Chirreep looks angry and frightened, as she waves her arms

at the Poporb.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 9.

CHIRREEP: What's WRONG with you, Poporb? Why are you

outputting TRAGEDY, when I programmed

you for FARCE?

CHIRREEP: You can't even get a SENSOR-FIX on the STAR

of this movie I'm allegedly making!

(2)

The Poporb sadly closes its lid. There's nothing it can do.

CHIRREEP: How am I supposed to create another "Howard

the Duck" TECHNO-FICTION*--

CHIRREEP: --without inputting HOWARD?

BLURB: *Chirreep's earlier "techno-fictions" ap-

peared in HOWARD THE DUCK MAGAZINE #1-9

and BIZARRE ADVENTURES #34.--J.S.

(3)

Chirreep gets up from the movieola, wringing her hands, now

looking very worried and agitated.

CHIRREEP: Don't you understand? I've lost my AUDI-

ENCE! They HATE my recent work!

CHIRREEP: Techno-art can MOCK our complacent society,

as BEREET did in her HULK movies*...but

I went too FAR!

CHIRREEP In "VOID LEMON," I tried to say we practice

a PASSIVE form of violence-- and I pro-

voked Krylor's first MASS RIOT!

BLURB: *See HULK #269.--J.S.

(4)

Chirreep whirls around, reacts in shock to something she

sees off-panel.

CHIRREEP: I need a HIT-- another "MALTESE COCKROACH"--

another "CRASH OF '79!"--

CHIRREEP: --or my career is FINISHED!

VOICE: (OFF-PANEL) It's TOO LATE, Chirreep.

(5)

Looking past Chirreep, who has frozen in fear, we see THREE

KRYLORIAN ART POLICE standing in the door of the main dome,

pointing odd weapons-- they look like flit-gun-type bug

sprayers-- at her. Their uniforms look like they were bor-

rowed from Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

1ST POLICE: Your techno-artistic license has been RE-

VOKED.

2ND POLICE: You and your "Poporb" are hereby summoned to

appear before the COMMISSION.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 10.

PAGE SIX

(1)

EXT. KRYLORIAN CAPITAL CITY - WIDE ANGLE TO ESTABLISH

The art police craft carrying Chirreep-- it's an open-topped

saucerlike vehicle-- flies toward one of the tallest build-

ings in the city. The Poporb flies behind it.

BLURB: In mere moments, the KAPS'* transport whisks

Chirreep from her lonely valley to the

bustling planetary capital of PLAISIIR--

BLURB: --seat of the august ENTERTAINMENT STANDARDS

COMMISSION--

BLURB: *Krylorian Art Police.--JS

(2)

INT. COMMISSION HEARING ROOM - LARGE PANEL

The layout of the room definitely suggests a court of law.

The design is something else altogether: the commissioners

are also techno-artists, and the decor reflects this. E.g.,

the front panel of the judges' bench is sculpted into the

huge, glowering face of gargoyle.

The THREE COMMISSIONERS-- bald, like all Krylorian males--

wear judicial-type robes, decorated with odd, alien pat-

terns. Each wears a different sculpted helmet: one resem-

bles a Rolls Royce hood ornament, another a glittering

metallic moose antlers, the third a ziggurat. They look

simultaneously imperious and ridiculous.

SKEEB, the one with the antlers, is the presiding commis-

sioner. He stands between the other two, who are seated.

The defendant (Chirreep) sits facing the bench in a trans-

parent hovering globe, with one section sliced out for a

seat.

BLURB: --the honorable techno-master SKEEB

presiding.

SKEEB: The members of this commission fondly recall

your EARLY work, Chirreep-- so we have

striven to be LENIENT with you.

SKEEB: Even after the "Void Lemon" incident, we

limited your punishment to EXILE.

SKEEB: But now a far GRAVER charge has been leveled

against you.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 11.

(3)

On the stern-faced commissioners. Skeeb is standing, lean-

ing over the bench, accusing Chirreep.

SKEEB: You are accused of employing forbidden

materials-- specifically, SHADOW MAT-

TER-- in the construction of your

POPORB.

SKEEB: Is this TRUE, Chirreep?

(4)

Small panel. Chirreep looks pleadingly at the commis-

sioners.

CHIRREEP: Shadow matter enabled the Poporb to probe

OTHER DIMENSIONS for inspiration.

CHIRREEP: The "Howard" series could never have been

MADE without--

(5)

Small panel. Tight closeup of Skeeb. He's taken on the as-

pect of a hangin' judge.

SKEEB: Speak no more. Your rash irresponsibility

has precipitated a DISASTER--

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 12.

PAGE SEVEN

(1)

START OF 3-PANEL SEQUENCE: At left of panel is Skeeb's face,

as he narrates the following. The rest of the panel shows

several spiral galaxies swirling in space. Each galaxy is

accompanied by a half-resolved doppelganger of itself, like

a TV "ghost" image.

BLURB: (SKEEB SPEAKING) "--a calamity of COSMIC

proportions.

BLURB: "For some time, our scientists have noted a

peculiar VIBRATION across the space-time

continuum which produced an odd IMAGE-

DOUBLING EFFECT on our instruments.

(2)

The same scene in space-- except that now the "ghost" images

and the actual galaxies have moved much farther apart.

BLURB: "We did not realize, until NOW, that this

was no illusion-- that all of EXISTENCE

was in fact LOSING SUBSTANCE--

BLURB: "--REDISTRIBUTING its matter to form a

SHADOW of itself.

(3)

On one side of the panel, we see the swirling galaxies as in

panel one. Down the center of the panel is a ragged-edged

rift, as if the panel had been torn in two. On the other

side, now completely independent of the original galaxies,

the doppelgangers swirl through the space of an entirely

other universe. The rift itself is occupied by various ab-

stract geometric shapes against a solid-color (but not

black) backdrop.

BLURB: "The vibratory stimulation of the Poporb's

trans-dimensional probing has brought

into being A SECOND MULTIVERSE-- with

its own COSMIC AXIS--

BLURB: "--where your 'movies' ACTUALLY OCCURRED!"

(4)

Chirreep is leaning forward, almost tipping out of her wit-

ness chair, stunned at this revelation.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 13.

SKEEB: (OFF-PANEL) Moreover, certain of your

"characters" may have suffered a SPACE-

TIME-DISPLACEMENT--

SKEEB: --which divorced them from ANY reality apart

from your films!

CHIRREEP: That's why I can't locate HOWARD--?

(5)

Angle across Chirreep to the commissioners, who nod grimly.

SKEEB: Precisely-- for, at the moment, he exists in

NEITHER COSMOS!

SKEEB: He is STRANDED in the rift which divides the

shadow reality from our own.

CHIRREEP: Trapped. In a rift he never made.

CHIRREEP: What are we going to DO?

(6)

Angle on Skeeb, who shakes his head in typical Krylorian

resignation to the inevitable.

SKEEB: Accustom ourselves to life in a THINNER uni-

verse, for one thing--

SKEEB: --and for another, PUNISH the entities

RESPONSIBLE for this catastrophe.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 14.

PAGE EIGHT

(1)

INT. A GLOOMY PRISON CELL far below the city. Chirreep sits

hunkered over on a little stool, sobbing. The Poporb hovers

above her, half-open, a tear about to fall from it.

BLURB: Shortly, far below the city...

CHIRREEP: They don't know the WORST of it, Poporb.

CHIRREEP: The destruction of Duckworld must have been

REAL, also-- and I almost surely un-

leashed the menace that CAUSED it!

(2)

Down angle on Chirreep as she looks up at Poporb with a hor-

rifying realization:

CHIRREEP: Throwaway said it was a power even greater

than Galactongue!

CHIRREEP: What if it goes on to destroy OTHER worlds--

or that whole other MULTIVERSE, or--

(3)

Chirreep stands suddenly, startled at where her reasoning

has led her.

CHIRREEP: (BURST) --OR BOTH MULTIVERSES?!

CHIRREEP: And what if the two are LINKED somehow? The

whole of EXISTENCE could be eradicated--

CHIRREEP: --while Krylor's over-entertained populace

CURLS UP and accepts the "inevitable!"

(4)

Close on Chirreep, clenching both fists. She's made up her

mind to do something.

CHIRREEP: I CAN'T let it happen! I WON'T go down in a

history that will never be written as--

CHIRREEP: --THE WOMAN WHO WIPED OUT THE UNIVERSE!

(5)

She turns to Poporb, strokes its lid gently, almost hypnoti-

cally. Its iris and pupil gleam with energy.

CHIRREEP: We're going to create a NEW techno-fiction,

Poporb-- just as REAL as the others.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 15.

CHIRREEP: It's about how CHIRREEP suddenly VANISHED

from her prison cell, on a mission to

save reality--

(6)

Both Chirreep and Poporb vanish in a crackling flash of en-

ergy!

CHIRREEP: (OPEN-ENDED POINTER, TO THE FLASH OF ENERGY)

--and repay a DEBT to a web-footed friend.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 16.

PAGE NINE

(1)

THE RIFT BETWEEN MULTIVERSES: We can see the ragged black

edges of the multiverses on either side of panel. In f.g.,

two abstract geometric forms, a helix and a pinwheel, are

locked together like a couple of clothes hangers, circling

each other perpetually, going nowhere. In b.g., we see a

small shape tumbling toward us. We can't see yet what it

is.

BLURB: At the distant reaches of two multiverses,

in the rift between existences...

(2)

SAME SCENE: But now the geometric forms are moving out of

panel, toward the left, and tumbling figure is a little

closer. We can just barely make out arms and legs-- and

webbed feet.

BLURB: ...two geometric solids dance a perpetual

pas de deux, chasing one another's logic

into eternity...

(3)

SAME SCENE: But now the geometric forms have moved almost

entirely out of panel to the left-- and the FRONT END OF A

DODGE WINNEBAGO is entering the panel from the right! We

can see now, in a bit of detail, that the tumbling figure is

HOWARD THE DUCK, wearing the same whacked-out expression as

on the splash page.

BLURB: ...unseen by living eyes, inaccessible to

tourists...

(4)

WIDE ANGLE - THE SIDE OF THE WINNEBAGO: Howard slams into it

broadside, to the left of the coach door.

BLURB: ...until now.

SFX: BWHOMPH!

HOWARD: (BURST; LETTERS OPEN FOR COLOR)

=WAAAUGHH!!!=

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 17.

PAGES TEN & ELEVEN

DOUBLE-PAGE SPREAD

ARRANGED AS TWO TIERS OF PANELS THAT READ ACROSS BOTH

PAGES; FIVE PANELS ON TOP TIER, THREE ON BOTTOM. FOR

CLARITY, MAYBE SEPARATE TOP TIER OF PANELS WITH THIN,

SOLID BLACK GUTTERS; USE STANDARD OPEN GUTTER TO SEPA-

RATE TOP TIER FROM BOTTOM.

(1)

The door of the Winnebago flies open to the left, squashing

Howard against the side of the vehicle. (Only his webbed

feet are visible, hanging out from under the door.) Framed

in the doorway is the WHITE-HAIRED, WHITE-SUITED ANGEL from

the Howard story in BIZARRE ADVENTURES #34. (Henceforth,

we'll call him ANDY, because he bears a strong resemblance

to Andy Warhol.)

SFX: (DOOR SQUASHING HOWARD) THWAPP

HOWARD: (FROM BEHIND DOOR; LOWER CASE LETTERS)

=auuuuu=

ANDY: HOWARD?-- Howard, is that YOU?!--

(2)

Angle past Andy to the edge of the door: Howard's head pokes

around it. His cigar is smashed. He looks like he could

commit murder.

HOWARD: I dunno who you ARE, snowcap...or how you

knew my NAME...

HOWARD: ...an' to be totally HONEST, I don't really

give a plywood pluck.

HOWARD: You, on the other hand, should be aware--

(3)

INT. WINNEBAGO: Andy reels backward into the coach, pro-

pelled by a furious Howard, who has leaped on him and whose

gloved hands are locked around the angel's throat!

HOWARD: --that if you don't have a box o' CIGARS in

this clunker, you're DEAD MEAT!

ANDY: But-- but, Howard-- you can't kill ME!

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 18.

(4)

Angle past How to Andy. Andy is bent back over the stove of

the Winnebago coach with the Duck perched on his chest. How

still has one hand around Andy's throat. The other is

balled up in a fist, poised to sock him.

ANDY: I'm ALREADY DEAD! You know that!

ANDY: I'm an ANGEL!

HOWARD: No kiddin'! Well, in that case, this won't

hurt a BIT, will it?

(5)

How stops his punch just before it connect. His head whips

around to look off-panel, reacting to a voice. His beak is

dropping open. He's appalled at what he sees.

VOICE: (OFF-PANEL) DESIST, friend duck! The

seraphim ANDY speaks the TRUTH! And I

should know--

HOWARD: (LOWER-CASE LETTERING) =waa-uurgh=

(6)

LARGE PANEL: WIDE SHOT OF THE WINNEBAGO'S INTERIOR. Now

we-- and Howard-- see that there are OTHERS aboard. In

fact, the place is packed with a strange array of characters

from Howard's past(s): DAKIMH THE SORCERER, his apprentice

JENNIFER KALE, and KORREK THE BARBARIAN (HTD color comic

#22-23); MAN-THING; mechanic CLAUDE STARKOWSKI (HTD color

comic #30-31); MASTER C'HAAJ (kung fu master from HTD color

comic #3); and HEMLOCK SHOALS (detective caterpillar; HTD

b&w magazine #4).

Dakimh should be standing. Man-Thing would hunched over,

too tall for the RV's ceiling to accommodate. Claude might

be trying to fix a lamp or something. Arrange the others

interestingly on the can the Winnebago's sofas, bunks, etc.

Howard is still standing on Andy's chest, gaping at the

others in unconcealed disgust.

DAKIMH: --for I, DAKIMH THE SORCERER-- or rather,

his GHOST-- am also numbered among the

departed!

BLURB: With a LUMP in his throat-- brought on by

sudden, severe NAUSEA-- Howard scans the

recreational vehicle's weird assemblage:

BLURB: (NEAR JENNIFER) JENNIFER KALE, Dakimh's

protege...

BLURB: (NEAR KORREK) ...KORREK, barbarian prince of

Katharta...

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 19.

BLURB: (NEAR MANNY) ...the macabre MAN-THING, murk-

dweller of the Florida swamps...

BLURB: (NEAR CLAUDE AND C'HAAJ) ...mechanic CLAUDE

STARKOWSKI and martial arts entrepreneur

MASTER C'HAAJ, both of Cleveland,

Ohio...

BLURB: (NEAR SHOALS) ...and, finally, a CATERPILLAR

the duck has never seen before in his

life!

HOWARD: Gimme strength...!

(7)

Medium-closeup of Howard. He slumps into a pose of futil-

ity.

HOWARD: Better yet, tell me what I'm doin' in a

Winnebago, nine billion light years from

NOWHERE--

HOWARD: --with a gaggle of FLAMING LOONIES I never

wanted to SEE again--

(8)

Medium-closeup of Hemlock at one of the RV's windows. He's

pointing, indicating something he sees outside.

HOWARD: --plus two I've never even MET!

HEMLOCK: All in good time, Howard. For the nonce, a

more URGENT matter has arisen.

HEMLOCK: It would appear that we are no longer the

ONLY sojourners in this cosmic outback.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 20.

PAGE TWELVE

(1)

EXT. IN THE RIFT: LONG SHOT OF A GIANT FIRE HYDRANT with

windows around its dome-shaped bonnet and in its operating

nut, so that it looks a bit like a space-station. We see

the Winnebago far, far in the background.

CLAUDE: (FROM WINNEBAGO) Sunuvagun-- FIRE HYDRANT at

four o'clock!

DAKIMH: (SAME) No, Claude. Like our "R.V.", it is

an artificial CONSTRUCT, crafted to RE-

SEMBLE a common object.

(2)

INSET PANEL: closeup of Dakimh, touching his fingertips to

his temples, concentrating.

DAKIMH: A moment, please. I wish to determine who

is aboard...!

(3)

INT. BONNET OF FIRE HYDRANT: In this gigantic domed struc-

ture, which looks like the inside of a spaceship, we find an

assemblage of Howard's arch-foes, all pounding, hitting,

kicking, or throwing magical bolts at one another-- each as-

suming that all the others are responsible for his or her

being here.

Through one of the hydrant's huge windows, we see the Win-

nebago floating far in b.g.

The villains are:

1) PRO-RATA (HTD color comic #1);

2-6) DR. ANGST, BLACK HOLE, SITTING BULLSEYE, TILLIE

THE HUN, and THE SPANKER (MARVEL TREASURY EDITION #12);

7) LE BEAVER (HTD color comic #9);

8) KONG LOMERATE (HTD color comic #10 and b&w magazine

#7);

9) DOCTOR BONG (HTD color comic #15, et al.);

10) BERSERK JOE (HTD color comic #22-23);

11) JACKPOT (HTD b&w #1);

12) WALLY SIDNEY (HTD b&w #2);

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 21.

13) GREEDY KILLERWATT (HTD b&w #3);

14-17) JOKESTER, PUFFIN, QUIZLING, and THE MALLER (HTD

b&w #8);

18) THE NEW BLACK TALON (HTD b&w #9).

DR. BONG stands apart from the conflict, AT LEFT OF PANEL,

hitting himself in the head with his clapper-arm, trying to

get the attention of the others. SPANKER is near CENTER OF

PANEL, sitting on something, with WALLY SIDNEY draped over

his lap; he's spanking Wally with his paddle. DR. ANGST is

stationed AT RIGHT OF PANEL, conjuring a GIANT RUNNING SHOE

in the air above the combatants.

DAKIMH: (POINTER TO WINNEBAGO) I sense EIGHTEEN

ENTITIES-- spanning a veritable spectrum

of MALEVOLENCE--

DAKIMH: (CONNECT TO PREVIOUS BALLOON) --from the

merely NASTY to the WANTONLY VIOLENT.

BONG: STOP this senseless brawling-- at once!

DOCTOR BONG demands it!

SPANKER: That's what YOU say, doc! But I-- THE

SPANKER-- want a SECOND OPINION!

ANGST: Very well! I-- DOCTOR ANGST, master of mun-

dane mysticism-- CONCUR with Doctor

Bong!

ANGST: Now cut it out, or I'll JOG all over you!

SFX: (BONG'S CLAPPER HITTING BELL) BONNNNG

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 22.

PAGE THIRTEEN

(1)

INT. WINNEBAGO: Angle across Dakimh to Howard. Dakimh is

removing his fingertips from his temples, turning to How--

who throws up his hands and turns on his heel to walk away.

DAKIMH: Apart from their EVIL, they seem to have

little in common--

DAKIMH: --except that they ALL want Howard DEAD.

HOWARD: NATURALLY!

(2)

Howard is at the door of the Winnebago coach, starting to

open it.

HOWARD: EVERYBODY wants me dead! In some species,

it's an INBORN INSTINCT!

HOWARD: Look, guys-- no offense, but I'm jumpin'

ship. I was actually gettin' to LIKE it

out there--

(3)

EXT. WINNEBAGO: TIGHT SHOT OF DOORWAY as Howard flings the

door open-- and stops cold, his beak dropping open, stunned.

HOWARD: --and besides, even if you're dead, you'll

lead happier, longer lives if I'm not--

HOWARD: (STAGGERED, LOWER-CASE LETTERS) =wurrrgh=

VOICE: (OFF-PANEL) So, Howard, we meet AGAIN--

(4)

Angle over How's shoulder out the door-- to CHIRREEP, sit-

ting calmly in "space", with the POPORB floating at her own

shoulder.

CHIRREEP: --for the FIRST TIME.

HOWARD: Why...you're a featherless, hairless

bird-ape hybrid, aren't you?

HOWARD: Hi, there.

HOWARD: I'm a deeply disturbed duck.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 23.

(5)

Howard backs back into the Winnebago coach. Chirreep and

the Poporb also step inside.

HOWARD: I must be disturbed. Otherwise, I wouldn't

think I was seeing YOU.

CHIRREEP: I understand your distress, Howard-- but I

am no DELUSION.

CHIRREEP: Intelligent life on my planet simply evolved

DIFFERENTLY than on earth-- or DUCK-

WORLD.

(6)

TIGHT SHOT OF HOWARD: SEEN ONLY FROM THE WAIST UP. Double

image of his head looking first at off-panel Chirreep, then

down at his lower body-- in horror.

HOWARD: "Duckworld?" What's that-- a THEME PARK?

HOWARD: WAIT-- what's HAPPENIN' to me?

HOWARD: =waaaugh= I-- I'm-- CHANGING--

(7)

FULL SHOT: Howard looks down, gasps. Inexplicably, he is

now wearing pants!

HOWARD: --CLOTHES!! I've got PANTS ON!!

CLAUDE: Never mind THAT, Howie--

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 24.

PAGE FOURTEEN

(1)

Small panel: Claude and the others, at the window of the

Winnebago. Claude is motioning for How to join them.

CLAUDE: --take a gander at what's goin' on OUTSIDE!

(2)

LARGE PANEL: Outside, Galactongue has appeared in the rift,

hovering far above both the Winnebago and the fire hydrant.

His ruby-red lips are disgorging a FLOODTIDE OF STARS into

the emptiness. The Sulfur Surfer flies an elaborate pattern

of swoops and dives around the falling stars.

CHIRREEP: (FROM R.V.) It's GALACTONGUE! He's disgorg-

ing an entire GALAXY into the rift!

HOWARD: (FROM R.V.) Maybe his eyes were bigger than

his stomach.

CHIRREEP: (FROM R.V.) He doesn't HAVE eyes. HAROLD--

that sulfurous being-- is his eyes.

HOWARD: (FROM R.V.) He's got a seeing-eye SURFER--?!

(3)

Small panel: looking through the window of the Winnebago at

Claude and Hemlock. Claude literally has his nose pressed

against the glass.

CLAUDE: Gee, Hemlock, I seen stuff like this at the

MOVIES lotsa times--

(4)

LARGE PANEL: Outside, as the Sulfur Surfer leads Galactongue

away, the newly transplanted galaxy is IMPLODING at incredi-

ble velocity, all of the stars rushing together to form a

vast, glittering, towering...something.

CLAUDE: (FROM R.V.) --but I never figgered I'd get

to see a galaxy implode IN PERSON!

CLAUDE: (CONNECT TO PREVIOUS BALLOON) Did YOU?

HEMLOCK: (FROM R.V.) Hardly, Claude.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 25.

PAGE FIFTEEN

(1)

LARGE PANEL: The imploding galaxy has formed a planet-- with

one unbelievably tall structure sticking straight up from

its surface and rising past the top of the panel into the

rift-space. IT'S AN OFFICE BUILDING-- A GLEAMING TOWER TENS

OF THOUSANDS OF MILES HIGH, WITH ODD PROTRUSIONS (WINGS)

STICKING OUT FROM THE BUILDING WITH NO VISIBLE MEANS OF SUP-

PORT. An enormous banner, hung across the side of the

building, reads: RETAIL AND OFFICE SPACE AVAILABLE FOR

LEASE.

FIVE COMET-LIKE FLARES-- one noticeably SMALLER than the

other four-- are streaking away outward from various points

on the structure, headed toward the Winnebago and the fire

hydrant-- both of which are traveling toward the planet at

incredible velocity.

JENNIFER: (FROM R.V.) Dakimh-- it's formed a NEW

PLANET-- and an OFFICE BUILDING!

JENNIFER: And we're falling straight TOWARD it!

DAKIMH: (FROM R.V.) Aye, Jennifer-- but I am MORE

concerned with the objects now streaking

toward US.

(2)

WIDE ANGLE, SMALL PANEL: Three of the comet-like flares

(including the smallest one) strike the Winnebago. The

other two strike the fire hydrant. Both "constructs" GLOW.

BLURB: An instant later, the mysterious flares

IMPACT...

(3)

"SPLIT-SCREEN PANEL" - INT. WINNEBAGO AT LEFT, INT. FIRE

HYDRANT DOME AT RIGHT. Both are bathed in blinding light

that washes the panel virtually into black-and-white, and

"breaks up" the characters' outlines, so that we can't see

them clearly.

BLURB: ...to no apparent effect, other than

pyrotechnics, until:

VOICES: (FIVE POINTERS FROM BALLOON, THREE TO

WINNEBAGO, TWO TO FIRE HYDRANT; WAVY

BALLOON SHAPE; STAGGERED LETTERS)

HALLO-O-O-O!

HOWARD & BONG: (BURST; TWO POINTERS) WHO SAID THAT--?!?

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 26.

PAGE SIXTEEN

(1)

INT. FIRE HYDRANT: Suddenly, a strange, gooey, MOLASSES-LIKE

MASS WITH A HUMAN FACE starts to flow out from among the

villains. Worse: it talks!

MOLASSES THING: (WAVY BALLOON; STAGGERED LETTERS) I am

from among. I am the AMONGER.

PRO-RATA: By the stellar spreadsheet-- what IS it?!

(2)

INT. WINNEBAGO: Much to Chirreep's horror, a huge coil, re-

sembling A SLINKY TOY WITH A HUMAN FACE ON ONE END, is un-

winding itself snakelike from around her legs.

COIL: (WAVY BALLOON; STAGGERED LETTERS) I am from

around. I am the AROUNDER.

CHIRREEP: Yes...yes, I can SEE that.

(3)

INT. FIRE HYDRANT: A FLAT, ALMOST TWO-DIMENSIONAL FIGURE

THAT LOOKS LIKE A STICK OF GUM WITH A HUMAN HEAD slithers

out from under Kong Lomerate's foot, startling the big ape

half out of his skin!

PAPER MAN: (WAVY BALLOON; STAGGERED LETTERS) I am from

underneath. I am the UNDERNEATHER.

KONG: =ARROOORRGH=

(4)

INT. WINNEBAGO: Out of Howard's wide-open beak comes a

BOUNCING BALL WITH LITTLE ARMS, LITTLE LEGS, AND A HAPPY

FACE PAINTED ON ITS SPHEROID SURFACE.

BALL: (WAVY BALLOON; STAGGERED LETTERS) I am from

within. I am the WITHINER.

(5)

Up-angle past Claude to the ceiling of the Winnebago. A

STRANGE LITTLE MAN IS SWINGING BY HIS NECK FROM A NOOSE AT-

TACHED TO THE CEILING. He reaches down and Claude, utterly

bewildered, shakes his little doll-like hand.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 27.

LITTLE MAN: You can just call me..."OF."

CLAUDE: Uh-huh...pleased to meetcha.

(6)

EXT. THE WINNEBAGO AND THE FIRE HYDRANT: A voice speaks to

them from the empty space between the two "constructs."

VOICE: (WAVY BALLOON; STAGGERED LETTERING; NO

POINTER) And I am from...between!

Together, we six comprise...

VOICE: (SAME) ...THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL

PREPOSITIONS.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 28.

PAGE SEVENTEEN

(1)

Angle past the two hurtling constructs to the office tower.

Both are on a collision course with the tower. One will

strike near the top, the other near the bottom of the enor-

mous structure.

BETWEENER: Play both ends against the middle, and all

you desire shall be yours!

BETWEENER: Nothing you dream of is impossible for me to

accomplish!

(2)

The Winnebago and the fire hydrant strike the side of the

building-- and seem to dissolve away, their matter dissolv-

ing into crackles of energy and being tossed back into the

rift. The hydrant strikes the building several stories

ABOVE the Winnebago.

BLURB: Before anyone can ask for clarification of

the BETWEENER'S strange remark...

BLURB: ...the two constructs IMPACT the office

tower...

BLURB: ...and DISPERSE INTO UNBONDED ATOMS!

(3)

INT. OFFICE TOWER: THE BOARD ROOM. Long, oval conference

table. Thickly upholstered chairs. Plush carpeting. The

villains are spawled all over the place. Kong Lomerate is

prominent in this shot, swinging from the chandelier, which

brightly lights the room.

BLURB: Their CONTENTS, however, arrive INTACT

inside.

KONG: We're viable! And we've landed in the BOARD

ROOM--

KONG: --the natural habitat of KONG LOMERATE!

(4)

INT. OFFICE TOWER: THE MAIL ROOM. This is where Howard and

"friends" have landed, sprawled amid boxes, carts, postal

scales, stamps, a few thousand unsorted envelopes, etc.

There are no lights on in this room.

JENNIFER: Where-- ARE we--?!

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 29.

HOWARD: =wauurrgh= The MAIL ROOM-- haven of lost

souls.

HEMLOCK: Yes...whatever the Betweener's game may be--

he obviously wishes us to start at the

BOTTOM.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 30.

PAGE EIGHTEEN

(1)

Howard storms toward the door gesturing behind him for the

others to keep away, let him go. He wants no part of this.

Chirreep in particular watches him go, looking very upset.

Korrek, climbing out from under a pile of mail, is furious.

HOWARD: Yeah, well-- let 'im keep WISHIN'! I'm not

startin' at the bottom or anywhere ELSE!

HOWARD: In fact, I'm not PLAYIN'!

KORREK: By Bharph's blood-- time has wrought LITTLE

CHANGE in you, fowl!

(2)

Angle on Korrek, drawing his glowing sword from its sheath.

KORREK: You would only too happily DESERT your

comrades in the face of these

prepositional FIENDS!

HOWARD: (OFF-PANEL) You GOT it, Korrek! I'm nothin'

if not--

(3)

Howard is opening the door-- when Korrek's sword flies into

shot just over his head (speedlines indicate its path) and

imbeds itself in the metal. The impact slams the door shut

again. Howard's eyes are rolling up to look at the sword.

HOWARD: (SMALL LETTERS, CENTERED IN BALLOON)

--consistent.

HOWARD: (LOWER-CASE LETTERS; CONNECT TO PREVIOUS

BALLOON) =ulp=

SFX: (SWORD HITTING DOOR) THWOMMM!

(4)

Howard reaches up and pulls the sword out of the door.

HOWARD: Korrek...lemme try'n put this diplomati-

cally.

HOWARD: One'a the reasons I'm not exactly EAGER to

fight the good fight at your side...

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 31.

(5)

Wider shot. Howard whirls around, holding the sword with

both hands and waving it and yelling at Korrek. The barbar-

ian takes a step backward.

HOWARD: ...is that only a MORON throws his weapon

away before the fight's even STARTED!

HOWARD: Do I have to COMPLETE the syllogism, or do

you get the DRIFT?

KORREK: Anger overcame my REASON, fowl! I am not so

INCAUTIOUS in battle!

(6)

Howard tosses down the sword and starts for the door again.

HOWARD: What-- you only get mad at your FRIENDS?

HOWARD: Look, thew-brain, if you NEED me, give a

holler, okay? Otherwise--

(7)

Jennifer gives a worried look to Dakimh. She's concerned

not only for their lives-- but also the duck's sanity.

Dakimh shrugs "who can say?" in response to her question.

HOWARD: (OFF-PANEL) --just forget I EXIST!

SFX: (DOOR SLAMMING) SLAMM!

JENNIFER: I'm worried about Howard, Dakimh. He acts

like we all got together LAST WEEK.

JENNIFER: Doesn't he REALIZE he's been lost in that

rift for almost SIX YEARS...?!

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 32.

PAGE NINETEEN

(1)

INT. THE BOARD ROOM: Angle over Kong Lomerate's shoulder

down the conference table where the villains are seated.

Kong Lomerate stands at the head of the table, playing

chairman of the board, addressing the others. Dr. Bong is

seated to his right, Dr. Angst to his left.

Seated on Angst's side of the table (from nearest to fur-

thest) are: Le Beaver, Black Hole, Sitting Bullseye, Tillie

the Hun, the Spanker, Jackpot, and Black Talon.

Seated on Bong's side of the table (also from nearest to

furthest) are: Wally Sidney, Greedy Killerwatt, Maller,

Jokester, Puffin, Quizling, and Pro-Rata.

Berserk Joe is at the end of the table, standing on his head

in his chair.

BLURB: Meanwhile, several floors above...

KONG: A most impressive assemblage, wouldn't you

agree, doctors?

KONG: The Canadian super-patriot LE BEAVER...the

matter-sucking BLACK HOLE...SITTING

BULLSEYE, TILLIE THE HUN, THE SPANKER,

the one-armed bandit JACKPOT...BLACK

TALON, the voodoo priest...

KONG: ...BERSERK JOE, the cosmic lunatic...

KONG: ...clothier WALLY SIDNEY, GREEDY KILLERWATT

...the MALLER and his employees--

JOKESTER, PUFFIN, and QUIZLING-- and

PRO-RATA, chief accountant of the uni-

verse.

(2)

Angle on the head of the table, including Bong, Angst, and

Kong. Kong Lomerate nods knowingly.

BONG: Surely the PREPOSITIONS gathered us together

for a REASON.

ANGST: Some grand purpose-- something to do with

the WINNEBAGO we saw from space!

KONG: Yes.

(3)

Small panel. Le Beaver scratches at the table and snarls at

off-panel Kong.

LE BEAVER: If vous KNOW quelque-chose, minkey-- PARLEZ!

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 33.

(4)

Tight shot of Kong. He regards the others haughtily.

KONG: Quite simply, I believe I have grasped the

nature of the Prepositions' ENTERPRISE.

KONG: This building is to be the battlefield for a

war of OFFICE POLITICS...

KONG: ...the OBJECT of which, as in any such con-

flict, is the redistribution of POWER.

(5)

Extreme closeup of Kong, emphasizing the hungrily glittering

eyes.

KONG: By first dividing, then intimidating, and

finally DAMAGING our opponents...

KONG: ...the power falls to US-- and with it, the

Betweener's PRIZE.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 34.

PAGE TWENTY

(1)

INT. OFFICE BUILDING CORRIDOR: Howard, hands shoved into the

pockets of his coat, trundles down the hall, lost in

thought. Like the mail room, this area is also very dark.

HOWARD: (THOT) Shouldn't've railed at 'em like that.

They don't get it.

HOWARD: (THOT) Nobody gets it.

HOWARD: (THOT) Nobody ever did.

(2)

Another angle on Howard, seen from back, now approaching a

corner of the corridor. His trousers are starting to disap-

pear-- just vanish.

HOWARD: (THOT) It's a rare bird-- let alone a

hairless ape-- that never really feels

lonely.

HOWARD: (THOT) Can't help it, though-- I DON'T very

often.

(3)

Around the corner: Howard comes shuffling around the bend,

glancing down, noticing that the trousers have disappeared

completely.

HOWARD: (THOT) Not that I'm in love with my own

company, or anything.

HOWARD: (THOT) Hm. There go the pants...!

HOWARD: (THOT) When you get right down to it, I'm a

fairly obnoxious personality.

(4)

Howard shuffles up to a water cooler, reaches up for a paper

cup from the cylindrically-shaped wall-mounted dispenser

next to it. (The dispenser is mounted at a height appropri-

ate for adult humans.)

HOWARD: (THOT) I've just never encountered anybody

who struck me as significantly LESS

obnoxious.

HOWARD: (THOT) Thirsty...

HOWARD: (THOT) And suppose I did. Why would they

want anything to do with me?

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 35.

(5)

Close on the bottom of the cup dispenser. Howard's hand has

pulled a paper cup out of the dispenser-- and falling out

after it (as if dropping from a gallows, though it doesn't

seem to bother him at all), hanging from a rope that extends

up into the dispenser, is "OF," the weird little Preposi-

tion.

HOWARD: (THOT; OFF-PANEL) Even BEV* and I never went

more than 48 hours without arguing over

SOMETH--

HOWARD: (BURST; OFF-PANEL) =WAAAAUGH!!=

OF: GREETS, Howard! War broken out yet?

BLURB: *Beverly Switzler, Howard's human companion

during most of his stay on earth.--J.S.

(6)

Medium shot. Howard gapes at the little preposition, who's

hanging just slightly above eye-level with the duck.

HOWARD: I oughtta THROTTLE you for scarin' me like

that--

HOWARD: --but somehow it seems SUPERFLUOUS.

OF: Oh, good. It's travail enough going through

life as a HANGING PREPOSITION.

HOWARD: Uh-huh. Now what's this about a WAR?

(7)

Small panel. Close on Of. He realizes he's spoken out of

turn.

OF: Oh, nothing...nothing at all...just making

conversation...!

OF: I really...should be going...my larger

brothers are calling...!

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 36.

PAGE TWENTY-ONE

(1)

On Howard staring up at the cup dispenser. There's a little

puff of smoke now where Of had been hanging. The SHADOW of

a tall, off-panel figure is looming over Howard, as the fig-

ure approaches from behind.

OF: Perhaps we can chat again...if you live

through this...!

SFX: (PUFF OF SMOKE) =POOT!=

HOWARD: If I WHAT--?!?

HOWARD: Come BACK here! I demand an EXPLANATION--!

(2)

Low angle past Howard to Chirreep, as she enters the scene

behind him. Howard is whirling around to look at her, again

startled half out of his wits.

CHIRREEP: It's useless, Howard. Paper cup dispensers

don't talk.

HOWARD: =WAAAAGH!!=

HOWARD: Now, who-- OH! It's the HALLUCINATION

again!

CHIRREEP: My name is Chirreep, Howard. And we really

must talk.

(3)

Howard and Chirreep continue down the corridor.

CHIRREEP: You see...I'm RESPONSIBLE for your being

trapped in the rift...

CHIRREEP: ...and, inadvertently, for the destruction

of DUCKWORLD.

HOWARD: "Duckworld" again.

HOWARD: Lady, I've never HEARD of Duckworld! Why

should I CARE who destroyed it?

(4)

Chirreep looks at him, stunned. He looks at her as if she's

completely out to lunch.

CHIRREEP: Because you BORN there! Because your

parents-- Ronald and Henrietta-- LIVED

there!

CHIRREEP: Moon of noon-- the Howard I knew was never

THIS callous!

HOWARD: Then you must'a known a DIFFERENT Howard--

HOWARD: --'cause MY parents're named DAVE an' DOTTY!

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 37.

(5)

Small panel. Closeup on Chirreep. Her eyes widen, as a

sudden realization hits her.

CHIRREEP: Oh my stars and leotards!...then Duck-

world...only existed in the SHADOW

MULTIVERSE...

CHIRREEP: It only became real...AFTER it appeared in

my MOVIE...!

HOWARD: (OFF-PANEL) Hah?

(6)

Holding Howard's hand tightly (he looks a little uncomfort-

able about this), Chirreep tells him about the creation of

the second multiverse.

BLURB: Breathlessly, the bird-woman explains the

functions, intended and otherwise, of

the Poporb and the Fictionator...

BLURB: ...and how the duck's dual existence in fact

and techno-fiction became NON-EXISTENCE

when the multiverses began to SEPARATE.

HOWARD: Y-you're tellin' me the ANGEL-- an' the

CATERPILLAR-- are FICTIONAL CHARACTERS?

CHIRREEP: YES--

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 38.

PAGE TWENTY-TWO

(1)

Howard and Chirreep approach a bank of elevators in the cor-

ridor.

CHIRREEP: --and NO!

CHIRREEP: They BEGAN as fictional creations-- but they

BECAME REAL-- sort of like your PANTS!

HOWARD: I repeat: hah?

CHIRREEP: In my movies, an ANIMAL DECENCY committee

got upset because you were waddling

half-naked.

(2)

Behind How and Chirreep, the doors of an elevator are start-

ing to open. A shaft of light from the elevator stabs into

the dark corridor. They don't see it. Chirreep is too in-

volved with her story; How is too involved in his continuing

skepticism.

CHIRREEP: They gave you a choice between trousers and

LYNCHING. You went with the pants.

HOWARD: Who WOULDN'T...?

CHIRREEP: But, Howard, if Andy the Angel and Hemlock

Shoals-- and your pants-- have all taken

on some kind of reality--

(3)

Behind How and Chirreep, the door has opened a little more.

We can see the menacing shapes of several figures in the el-

evator. Chirreep grows progressively more alarmed, Howard

progressively more skeptical.

CHIRREEP: --that means --MY VILLAINS COULD HAVE, TOO!

HOWARD: Uh-huh. What were THEY-- evil GYM SHORTS,

maybe?

(4)

LARGE PANEL: The door of the elevator is now completely

open, revealing several of the villains-- KONG LOMERATE,

MALLER, JACKPOT, AND GREEDY KILLERWATT-- ready to pounce.

How and Chirreep turn to face them, and react with shock, as

Kong Lomerate speaks.

Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85 39.

KONG: Gentlemen, I had assumed my background in

BUSINESS would prove crucial to winning

this war.

KONG: But if these two represent the CALIBER of

our antagonists, I am ludicrously

OVERQUALIFIED.

KONG: Let us DISPENSE with subtlety and simply--

KONG: (BURST) --KILL THEM!!

(5)

NEXT-ISSUE BLURB: 3/4-inch strip across bottom of page.

BLURB: NEXT> POWER PLAYS! BACK-STABBING! CAREER

STRATEGIES! RUG-PULLING! DEATH! NEW

CLOTHES! MORE DEATH! PLUS-- IN CASE

YOU MISSED IT IN 1974-- THE ORIGIN OF

HOWARD THE DUCK! ALL IN THE ASTOUNDING

CONCLUSION OF "SECRET CRISIS II"--

REALITY: ITS PREVENTION AND CURE!

((ABOVE TITLE LETTERING OPEN FOR COLOR))