BEHEMOTH JACK

Real Name: Unrevealed (Jack may be part of his real name) 

Identity/Class: Tyrannosaur, possibly mutate, probably extradimensional (Earth-80360)

Occupation: Radio disc jockey, presenter of the Eleventh Hour Special, Classic FM Radio presenter, Rock and Roll band drummer, Crazy Magazine Chest Editor (a job position somewhere below Head Editor, but above the Knee and Foot Editors); former model, actor

Group Membership: Unidentified rock band (Irving Nebbish, Obnoxio the Clown, Teen Hulk/Chester Weems), Crazy Magazine staff  

Affiliations: None

Enemies: The bands he insults, the general public when he is on a rampage 

Known Relatives: None 

Aliases: The Rock and Roll Reptile, the Reptilian Rocker , the dynamite dinosaur, the Saurian of Sound, the Monster of Ceremonies, the Prehistoric Platter Puss, Groovin' Antediluvian, Saurian Historian of rock, the Rockin' Reptilian, the Colossal Fossil, the Plethoric Prehistoric, the Top Ten Tyrannosaur, the Dinosauric D.J.

Base of Operations: None

First Appearance: Crazy Magazine#63 (June, 1980)

Powers/Abilities: Behemoth Jack is a gigantic monster, usually hundreds of feet tall, though his height varies somewhat, who possesses immense but unquantified strength and durability. He can apparently enter suspended animation, and can breathe (possibly radioactive) fire.

Height: Unrevealed (variable)
Weight: Unrevealed (variable)
Eyes: Unrevealed
Hair: Blond

History: (Crazy Magazine#63 (fb) - BTS) - A sentient dinosaur, Behemoth Jack  survived into the modern day by somehow entering suspended animation.

(Crazy Magazine#81 (fb) - BTS) - He was awoken from suspended animation by the songs of the Whom. 

(Crazy Magazine#75 (fb) - BTS) - Behemoth Jack enjoyed a movie career for a while, before quitting because he felt he was getting typecast as a monster. He grew a beard to try and change his image.

(Crazy Magazine#72) - Possibly overlapping his acting career, Jack also had a modeling career, but he quit that too, feeling the calling of Rock and Roll and deciding to become a D.J. 

(Crazy Magazine#63 (fb) - BTS) - He became a radio rock and roll D.J.

(Crazy Magazine#84 (fb) - BTS) - Jack also cultivated a different radio persona to present classical music on FM radio.

(Crazy Magazine#78 (fb)) - In 1964 a crew-cutted, smart suited Behemoth Jack introduced the Bleatles singing "All Our Millions," Pelvis Presley belting out "Hipbreak Hotel," and Diana Boss and the Superiors crooning "You Just Keep Us Backing Up." As the show ended, Jack noted that Pelvis had been performing since 1956, and mentioned he was glad that he wouldn't be stuck presenting his own show for another eight years.

(Crazy Magazine#78 (fb) - BTS) - Sixteen years later, and now wearing Hawaiian shirts, Behemoth Jack continued to present the Eleventh Hour Special.

(Crazy Magazine#63) - As he sat down on Manhattan Island, ignoring biplanes attacking the nearby King Kong atop the Empire State Building, Behemoth Jack introduced the Eleventh Hour Special, featuring versions of chartbusters which, like the Rock and Roll Reptile himself, never made it to the air. On his first show he introduced the Pillage People's "Join the Navy," noting that if readers felt that version was bad, then they should check out the version that actually made it into the charts. Then he played two more tracks from bands he felt should have been revised: Cheap Truck's "I Scream "Police!"" and the Knock's "Bologna." Having endured as much as he could take, Behemoth Jack announced that he was going back into suspended animation for a month, in the hope that this kind of music would be extinct when he awoke, but added that if it wasn't, he'd be back on his show to once more play the readers some new tracks. 

(Crazy Magazine#65) - While smashing his way through the army, Behemoth Jack introduced the latest Eleventh Hour Special, featuring songs which top recording artists almost released, but revised at the last second: the Beagles' "Heart Quake Tonight" and Barbara Laststand and Donna Simmer's "No More Sneers (A Buck is a Buck)." As the latter dirge came to an end, Behemoth Jack mentioned that readers had asked why he wore headphones, and admitted they were actually earplugs. 

(Crazy Magazine#66) - Behemoth Jack introduced another Eleventh Hour Special, noting that he had eaten neater looking cavemen that his first band, the Morones, performing "Do You Remember?" As the first song finished, a distracted Jack hastily ended a phone call, turning down a Clearasil commercial, then introduced Pink Lloyd's "Holy Hell, We're Just a Struggling Oil Cartel" and Blondy's "Sell Me," after which the Reptilian Rocker signed off for another month.

(Crazy Magazine#68) - Using the torn-off top of the Empire State Building as his microphone, Behemoth Jack played "hits" by Billy Jowel, Linda Whitestadt's "That'll be the Day," and the Pretentions "Stop Your Gouging!" As the show ended, he advised readers to write to the editors soon, or else he might be back. 

(Crazy Magazine#69) - While stomping through a concert with terrified people fleeing from his rampage, Behemoth Jack began his show with a ballad by Kenny Codgers, following it up with the Booze Brothers, and concluding his playlist with Paul McFartney and Things performing "Hang It Up!" As he ended the show, Jack responded to readers who had enquired why he didn't make his own record, asking them if they had ever heard of T.Rex?

(Crazy Magazine#70) - Temporarily shrunk down to around human size through unrevealed means, Behemoth Jack became the drummer of a rock band alongside fellow Crazy Magazine stars Irving Nebbish (lead vocals), Obnoxio the Clown and Teen Hulk (both guitars).

(Crazy Magazine#71) -  As he ripped the tail off a passing jumbo jet, Behemoth Jack began another Eleventh Hour Special, starting with a band who had been around as long as he had, the Strolling Stones. As their caterwauling ceased, Jack confirmed there was more to come, but implored readers to stick around anyway, playing Elfin John's "Oh, Little Imports" and Olivia Newton-Fig's "Have to Agree That It's Tragic." As the show ended, Jack warned readers to tune in next month, or he'd eat their neighborhood.

(Crazy Magazine#72) - Behemoth Jack introduced Bruce Strychnine's single "Baby I'm Too Worn to Run," then, while apologizing for having someone stuck between his teeth and holding up a sign demanding "Bring Back Mantovani!", played two stars of the seventies, Michael Jerkson's "She's Out of Her Mind" and Carly Simony. Glad the show was over again, Jack wondered aloud that he had quit modeling for this gig.

(Crazy Magazine#74) - Jack played Bob Meager and the Bite the Bullet Band, Rot Steward's "Fashion" and the 52-B's "Schlock Rock Stars." 

(Crazy Magazine#75) - Jack ripped the roof off a house to terrify the people inside as he began his latest show, starting with Saaba's "Fasting Teen." Responding to readers' requests to hear real musical talent for a change, Jack then put on two new tracks while he looked for some: Mirth, Wit and Ire's "Let's Squawk" and Wailin' Lemmings. As the show ended, Jack answered queries as to why he had grown a beard since his movie star days, explaining as he stuck out his tongue and blew a fiery raspberry that it was to change his image, as he had been getting typecast as a monster.

(Crazy Magazine#76) - When an elderly woman's horde of cats had stripes mysteriously shaven into their backs, the police hauled in Behemoth Jack (armed with a chainsaw), Irving Nebbish (armed with an axe), Teen Hulk (armed with a manual lawnmower) and Obnoxio the Clown (armed with a shaver and holding a somewhat incriminating not-yet-shaven cat) to take part in a police lineup. The woman swiftly pointed out Obnoxio. 

(Crazy Magazine#77) - Becoming human-sized intermittently, Behemoth Jack assisted Obnoxio the Clown, Irving Nebbish, Teen Hulk, Aunty Nuke and the Kinetic Kids in wading through the mountains of mail sent in as part of Crazy Magazine's Crazy Contest #1...though in Jack's case, he simply swallowed entire sackloads of mail.

(Crazy Magazine#77) -  While sticking pins in a record executive voodoo doll, Behemoth Jack introduced Queenie's "Another Group Bites the Dust," Dolly Part-In's "Learning 9 to 3," and Elvish Costello. As the last song came to an end, Jack slowly sank into a pit of quicksand.

(Crazy Magazine#78) - Since Behemoth Jack was on vacation, Eleventh Hour Special presented a re-run of his show from 1964, featuring the Bleatles singing "All Our Millions," Pelvis Presley belting out "Hipbreak Hotel," and Diana Boss and the Superiors crooning "You Just Keep Us Backing Up."

(Crazy Magazine#80) -  In the Eleventh Hour Special's latest installment, Behemoth Jack played the Policemen's "Don't Land So Close To Me," Cheer's "I'm Now Through Babe," and Johnny Hatcheck's "Take This Blob and Love It." As the show ended, Jack announced he had to run, as he was negotiating a new contract with the folks at Marvel.

(Crazy Magazine#81) - Swimming alongside the Statue of Liberty, Behemoth Jack played the Whom's "Talking 'Bout Our Reputation" and acknowledged the debt he owed the band for waking him from suspended animation. Then he played Skeevy Wonder's "And I Ain't Got No Time For It" and Pat Beenatart's "Hit Me With A Guest Shot," noting that the former's becoming a famous singer without being able to see was not all that impressive when you considered that the latter had become a singer without being able to sing. Then Jack signed off, noting it had been fun, though he couldn't remember exactly when.

(Crazy Magazine#82 - BTS) - Having taken a job as Chest Editor at Crazy Magazine, Behemoth Jack interviewed potential new staff. To save writing out rejection slips, he ate anyone who failed to get the job.

(Crazy Magazine#82) - Jack played Sha Nyeah Nyeah's "At the Top," Juiced Newton's "Just cover "Angel in the Morning" Badly," and Ted No-Gent's "Cat Flood Fever." At the end of the episode, Jack mentioned they had received several requests regarding future shows, but were going to do them anyway. 

(Crazy Magazine#83) - While menacing some musicians, Behemoth Jack announced that though America had won the revolution, England had the last laugh, as they sent the United States the Crash and their song "London Brawling." Jack reclined and picked his teeth with a guitar while one musician tried to pull another one from where he was trapped beneath Jack's giant foot; then the dinosaur D.J. put on Hokey Robinson's "Peers of a Clown," then finished his show with Sheena Weston's "Morning Rail." As the show concluded, he asked readers to write in and tell them what artists they'd like to see on the show, adding that he'd be obliged if they could suggest a new host too. 

(Crazy Magazine#84) - After using his fiery breath to fry a man tied up like a sacrifice on a giant decussate cross, Jack played Dead Zeppelin's "Flying the Airway to Heaven," then almost put on the 101 Strings orchestra performing "Greensleeves" before remembering that he wasn't on his FM Radio show. Swiftly switching back to his rock and roll persona, he instead played Jackson Brine's "They Won't Surrender" and Dim Carnes "Patti Davis Eyes."

(Crazy Magazine#85) - Jack confirmed that he would be playing a couple of hits the readers had been asking for, adding that the show had been holding off playing them until the readers put the bricks and bottles down. He began with Stevie Nix with Tom Sweaty and the Heartachers singing "Stop Draggin' My Dress Around," and followed up with Eddie Rabid's "Rep by Rep," before closing the show with Coroner's "We're Not Flooded," noting that the last group was taking two months out their busy concert schedule next year to learn to play their instruments.

(Crazy Magazine#86) - Jack played Bare Supply's "Here We Are," Uretha Franklin's "Neglect," and Christopher Crass. He signed off reminding readers to send in any suggestions they might have for groups or songs to be played in future shows. 

(Crazy Magazine#87) - For the next Eleventh Hour Special, Jack played RKO Seedwagon. Batting an annoying helicopter out the sky, he advised readers who might not want to watch the next acts to stay tuned anyway, lest he eat their aerial, and put on Tart's "Tragic Man" and Dan Ogelberg's "Hard to Play." 

(Crazy Magazine#88) - While picking up a car and dumping out the passengers inside, Behemoth Jack introduced Hull & Oates' "I Can't Throw for That," Tina Turnip's "Soulin' to the Rafters," and the Commodes' "Oh, Bo." Jack joined the last group in leching over the scantily clad Turnip.

(Crazy Magazine#89) - Jack played the Yo-Yo's "Our Lips Are Smeared," George Bentson's "Love Your Turn Around," and G. Jeils' "Age-old is a Centerfold," though he called the latter two artists' agent, warning him that his clients better make a hit or else Jack would chew them up. He ended his show urging readers to send letters to the Behemoth Jack Sack, listing recording artists they'd like to see, admitting he wouldn't hire them but he liked getting mail. 

(Crazy Magazine#90) - In another show, Jack featured the Curs' "Make It Up!", Diana Gloss' "Why Do Ghouls Fall in Love," and Donnie Virus' "Love It Breaking Rocks."

(Crazy Magazine#91) - In a special 60s themed edition of his show, Jack played Slimin' and Carbuncle's "The Sounds of Violence," Bob Swillin's "The Cancer is Glowin' in the Wind," and Dione Borewick's "Do You Know the Way to Sheer Dismay."

(Crazy Magazine#92) - Jack played the Hateful Dead's "Trekkin'," Bucktooth & Gorecia's "Snack-fan fever," and Joan Zitt and the Blackheads' "I Sing Rock and Roll," noting that the last was a reader request. He then thanked two additional readers for their song parodies, noting that he loved them, but also that next time they should add salt. 

Comments: Created by David Allikas and Walter Brogan. The Eleventh Hour Special was a pastiche of The Midnight Special, with Behemoth Jack parodying that show's host, Wolfman Jack (Robert Weston Smith) - what if Godzilla just wanted to play rock and roll?

A throwaway comment Jack makes in his first appearance in Crazy#63 implies he can enter into suspended animation, which presumably explains his presence in the modern day; later comments support this. Of course, that doesn't explain his ability to speak, etc. Maybe he's originally from Dinosaur World?

Behemoth Jack (and, for that matter, the rest of his band) don't appear in Crazy#70 beyond the cover - but the story implied by that cover is frankly the coolest thing about the character, whose appearances are otherwise frankly repetitive and not particularly funny. Jack's actually fine, but the parody songs - yeesh!

Jack also appears in the advert for later Crazy Contests from Crazy#78 on, plus in the announcement of the Contest winners from Crazy #80 on; however, since the panel he appears in is a title panel that is reprinted from Crazy#78 in each case, I've left them off his history.

Profile by Loki, with thanks to Snood for the line-up scan.

CLARIFICATIONS:
Behemoth Jack has no known connections to

images: (without ads)
Crazy#65, p35, pan1 (headshot)
Crazy#63, p16, pan3 (Behemoth Jack introduces himself for the first time)
Crazy#69, p42, pan1 (main)
Crazy#70, cover (Behemoth Jack and the band)
Crazy#75, p43, pan4 (Behemoth Jack breathes fire)
Crazy#76, subscription advert (Behemoth Jack and the rest of the Crazy regulars take part in a police lineup)
Crazy#84, p43, pan1 (Behemoth Jack switches from his classical music persona to his rock and roll one)
Crazy#87, p5, pan1 (Behemoth Jack calls for the letters to keep coming)

Appearances:
Crazy#65 (August, 1980) - David Allikas (writer), Walter Brogan (art), Larry Hama (editor)
Crazy#66, 68-72, 74-78, 80-92 (September 1980-December 1982) - David Allikas (writer), Dave Morris (art), Larry Hama (editor)

Last updated: 02/07/14

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

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