COLONEL CORN
Real Name: Colonel Corn
Identity/Class: Terrestrial corn kernel mutate (fringe character)
Occupation: Would-be world conqueror
Group Membership: International
Network of Creeps (I.N.C.) (Anchor-Man, Crasher, Maiden Hong Kong, Smasher, Trasher, Weirdbeard the Pirate)
Affiliations: Anchor-Man, Bad Balls (Crasher, Smasher,
Trasher), Cornball, Doktor
Viktor Frankenbeans, Madbelle, Maiden Hong Kong, Simon Snivelitch, Miss
Tic the Mystic, Weird Beard the Pirate
Enemies: Madballs (Aargh, Bash Brain/Crack Head, Bruise Brother, Dust Brain, Fistface, Freaky Fullback,
Goal Eater, Horn Head/Nob Head, Lock Lips, Oculus Orbus, Screamin'
Meemie,
Skullface, Slobulus, Snake Bait, Splitting Headache, Swine Sucker, Wolf
Breath/Baby's Breath)
Known Relatives: None
Aliases: None
Base of Operations: Mobile in USA
First Appearance: Madballs I#1 (September,
1986)
Powers/Abilities: Colonel Corn was a giant
humanoid corn cob with delusions of grandeur and world domination
using the power of his bad puns. He had a loyal minion, the sentient
floating Cornball, likely created as he was. He also controlled corn plants
that could uproot themselves, hence his base in a barn in a cornfield.
While the kernels on his body would pop under high heat, he seemed able
to regenerate kernels.
Height: 6'0"
(by approximation, excluding husk hair)
Weight: Unrevealed
Eyes: Yellow
Hair: Corn husk yellow
History: (Madballs I#1/2 (fb) - BTS) - A corn kernel fell into
the toxic waste pond at the secret laboratory of Research Unlimited in
Nucleonics (R.U.I.N.), the chemicals mutating it into sentient humanoid
corn cob with delusions of grandeur. Adopting the name "Colonel Corn,"
he developed (or allied himself with) a floating orb called Cornball
(likely with the same origins) and controlled surrounding corn plants at a barn.
Colonel Corn began formulating plans for world conquest using bad puns.
(Madballs I#1/2) - Eight rubber balls fell into the
same toxic pond and rose again to become the ugly but generally good
Madballs (Aargh, Crack Head (later Bash Brain), Dust Brain, Horn Head,
Oculus Orbus, Screamin' Meemie, Skullface, Slobulus), quickly becoming
friends with neighborhood children. When the children playfully hid in a
cornfield, only to be captured by corn plants and taken to their
leader, Colonel Corn, the Madballs soon found them and burst in, but
were knocked down by Colonel Corn's disorienting bad puns; however,
Colonel Corn still had to unleash his minion Cornball to claim victory
and stuck the Madballs to flypaper to hold them. Madball Screamin'
Meemie became so angry that it generated incredible heat, causing
Cornball to explode into popcorn. Colonel Corn quickly followed next;
his body's kernels popped away and flooded the barn, leaving the
exhausted Colonel Corn an empty cob. The children watched a movie and
happily ate the popcorn while the Madballs taunted their disheveled foe.
(Madballs I#9)
- Doktor
Frankenbeans allied with Miss
Tic the Mystic to magically bring together the Madballs' greatest foes:
Anchor-Man, Colonel Corn, Maiden Hong Kong, Weird Beard the Pirate and
the Bad Balls, forming the International Network of Creeps (I.N.C.).
They held the world hostage by causing chaos unless the world paid them
$27 quillion. The Madballs split into five groups to tackle the
internationally spread threats; in Iowa, Colonel Corn had turned the
entire state into a cornfield. Four Madballs (Goal Eater, Oculus Orbus,
Screamin' Meemie, Snake Bait) confronted him. They drowned out his
punishing puns and dragged him to WBLA television studios where the
microwaves from the broadcast dish caused his kernels to pop. He
escaped back to Doktor Frankenbeans' base,
alongside the other failed villains. There, the scoundrels were forced
into the toxic pond that had given rise to the Madballs while the
Madballs mocked them
all.
Comments: Created by Michael Gallagher (writer), Howard Post (pencils) and Roberta Edelman (inks).
I suspect Colonel Corn was a mutated corn cob and husk, while Cornball is a mutated kernel, given the Madballs are mutated rubber balls.
His "bad pun" power may instead be a voice that
disorients and sickens the listener.
Madballs are a bunch of 19 floating sentient, ugly-looking balls formed mostly by exposure to a unique toxic pond that began as AmToy toys in 1985 and initially spawned Marvel comics, a cartoon, video game, stationery and a novel by R.L. Stine (yep, him). The concept has since been revived.
Back around 2000, after the initial
Madballs craze,
Nabisco launched a new ad campaign for its CornNuts snacks with the
tagline "Corn gone wrong;" these ads appeared in comics as well (see right). It
reminds me of the sentient corn plants
that grabbed the children (see left) - perhaps without their leader, the uprooted
plants
left their field and roamed the streets, selling their kernels mixed
with hardcore spices and getting into trouble until they hit a
licensing deal.
Not sure if the Madballs are Earth-616, but nothing quite ruling them out.
Profile by Grendel Prime.
CLARIFICATIONS
:
Colonel Corn has no known connections to:
Cornball was Colonel Corn's loyal minion and was
sized like the Madballs with the same characteristics of levitation and
cranky attitude with attempts at crude humor, so it likely had similar
origin via the toxic chemical pool near the R.U.I.N. lab. It appeared
to be composed solely of corn kernels. Colonel Corn kept Cornball
hidden in his barn as his secret weapon.
When Colonel Corn was overwhelmed by the eight Madballs, he unleashed Cornball, which saved him, but the trapped Madball Screamin' Meemie generated such heat in its anger that Cornball exploded into popcorn.
--Madballs I#1/2
images:
(without ads)
Madballs I#1/2, p5, pan5 (main image)
Madballs I#1/2, p10, pan8 (headshot)
Madballs I#9, p10, pan6 (becoming popcorn)
Madballs I#1/2, p2, pan4 (plant minions)
Madballs I#1/2, p8, pan6 (Cornball)
Appearances:
Madballs I#1/2 (September, 1986) - Michael Gallagher (writer), Howard
Post
(pencils), Roberta Edelman (inks), Sid Jacobson (editor)
Madballs I#9 (April, 1988) Michael Gallagher (writer), Howard Post
(pencils), Roberta Edelman (inks), Sid Jacobson (editor)
First posted: 08/03/2020
Last updated: 08/03/2020
Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.
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