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HÄAGEN-DAZZLER

Real Name: Unrevealed

Identity/Class: Extradimensional/alternate reality (Earth-88131) extraterrestrial (Melmacian) Melmutant (see comments)

Occupation: Adventurer

Group Membership: Max Factor (membership unrevealed, all female);
   formerly Uncanned X-Melmen (Brogue, Dark Kleenex (formerly Marble-Cake Girl), Michigan Wolverine, Molossus, Psych-Major, Prof. Charles Xylophone) (all Earth-88131)

Affiliations: Gordon Shumway (Fantastic Fur, later ALF) (Earth-88131)

Enemies: Juggernougat, Magmeato, Sentimel (all Earth-88131)

Known Relatives: None

Aliases: None

Base of Operations: Mobile on planet Melmac (Earth-88131)

First Appearance: ALF I#22 (Mid-November, 1989)

Powers/Abilities: Häagen-Dazzler can instantly generate large amounts of flavored ice cream, which she uses to encase opponents. She is exceedingly vain, using so much facial makeup that it creates small clouds, and she seeks further exposure and opportunities for popularity. She has the usual physical attributes of a Melmac native (compared to humans), with heightened immunity, extended lifespan (set at 650 years) and a large appetite open to many forms of food (including cats).

Height: 3'0" (by approximation)
Weight: Unrevealed
Eyes: Black
Hair: Brown fur with blond head highlights

History: (ALF I#22/1 (fb)) - On Melmac, after being attacked by the nefarious Magmeato, orbit guardsman Gordon Shumway (later known as ALF) crash-landed at Professor Charles Xylophone's School for Gifted Melmutants, where he was introduced to the Uncanned X-Melmen (Brogue, Häagen-Dazzler, Michigan Wolverine, Molossus and Psych-Major). The X-Melmen took Shumway with them in their X-jet to confront Magmeato on his haircraft carrier ship. Häagen-Dazzler briefly encased the foe in a Neapolitan ice cream block, but Magmeato easily escaped and buried them under a meat pile. However, Shumway ate his way to secure their freedom. Magmeato surrendered and with the X-jet lost, Brogue carried the X-Melmen home.

(ALF Special I#2/5 (fb)) - Professor Xylophone left with Häagen-Dazzler, Brogue and Molossus to watch the public fireworks celebrating Eat Something Blue Day. However, they were all captured alongside runaway Michigan Wolverine by a giant Sentimel robot designed by the government to hunt Melmutants. The formerly missing Dark Kleenex appeared just as Psych-Major and Shumway arrived on the scene and blasted the robot away. As they X-Melmen recovered, Häagen-Dazzler attended to her makeup first. Shumway left with the X-Melmen immersed in infighting.

(ALF I#44 (fb)) - Häagen-Dazzler left the group to start up her own group, Max Factor, made up of female models. She prepared the X-Melmen one last ice cream treat before they departed. Soon after, the planet Melmac exploded, very likely killing her and Max Factor.

Comments: Created by Michael Gallagher (writer), Dave Manak (pencils) and Marie Severin (inks).

She's referred to variously with "Hagen" and "Häagen" for the first part of her name, but the latter is used in her last brief appearance.

She was replaced by Nightcaller, but the two never met.

The names of the potential Max Factor members have similar opportunities for parodying X-Men into Melmutants with bizarre names: Stormy Teacup - held aloft by dribbling warm tea? The Jam-Tartlet Witch? Shadow-Kitty-Cat, who's obsessed with cats and carries several around with her? Pot'a'rice, daughter of Magmeato? Jellybee - shooting sparkling fried chicken? Maybe later have rich-boy Angel-Cake, with weaponized cakes and different outfits every few panels; or Spanisher, who teleports only to Spain and returns with souvenirs; or Longshotput, who throws short-range shotput balls that eventually turn out helpful; or Havenot, the even whinier brother to Psych-Major who repels people? Will they encounter TexMexcalibur? Alfa Flight's already been mentioned, so there could be Spaghetti Marrina, Snowconebird, Puckamuck and Nerdstar. Could the X-Melmen return in a one-shot "Age of Melpocalypse?" Could stories go into other areas like Spider-Mel, or Captain Melmerica and the Averagers with Thore, a lisping hypochondriac hammering handyman, and Iron Vitamac, who needs a vitamin dispenser in his chest and made his fortune selling vitamins? Aargh, no - stop me!! Too many Star Comics!!

I ASSume that a Melmutant is simply a mutant on the planet Melmac.

Häagen-Dazzler is a play on Häagen-Dazs, the popular ice-cream chain.

Profile by Grendel Prime.

CLARIFICATIONS :
Häagen-Dazzler has no known connections to:

images: (without ads)
ALF I#22/1, p5, pan4 (main image)
ALF I#22/1, p6, pan4 (headshot)
ALF I#22/1, p10, pan1 (ice cream generation)

Appearances:
ALF I#22/1 (Mid-November, 1989) - Michael Gallagher (writer), Dave Manak (pencils), Marie Severin (inks), Sid Jacobson (editor)
ALF Special I#2/5 (Winter, 1990) - Michael Gallagher (writer), Dave Manak (pencils), Marie Severin (inks), Sid Jacobson (editor)
ALF I#44 (August, 1991) - Michael Gallagher (writer), Dave Manak (pencils), Marie Severin, Michael James & Ruth Leon (inks), Fabian Nicieza (editor)

First posted: 08/01/2020
Last updated: 08/01/2020

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

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