Mean (aka "The Fiend with No Name"; Reality-5311; Wolverine counterpart; "Kitty's Fairy Tale")

mean-5311-nci3-full MEAN

Real Name: Apparently Mean

Identity/Class: Extradimensional / Alternate Reality (Earth-5311) mutant

Occupation: Adventurer

Group Membership: Seething Snikters (Albert of Earth-616, Weapon X of Earth-295, Wolverine of Earth-811, Wild Thing of Earth-982, Wolverine of Earth-2301, Wolvie of Mojoverse)

Affiliations: Bamf, Colossus, Lady Jean, Pirate Kitty, Windrider, Xavier the Wizard -- all Reality-5311;
    Nightcrawler-616 (Kurt Wagner); Timebreakers;
    James Howlett-1880, Major Logan-811, Patch-181, Weapon X-520, zombie Wolverine-6195, and the robots Albert-5211 and Elsie-Dee-5211; numerous alternate reality Wolverine counterparts;
    Cyclops-5311 and Lockheed-5311 are reluctant allies; Mean works with them to appease his other allies or as a means to an end;
    formerly Brother Mutant of Earth-127;
    formerly Hutch; Mephisto-616

Enemies:Dark Bamf-5311, Dreadwings-5311, Phoenix-5311;
    Brother Mutant of Earth-127; Shagreen the Sorcerer and his tentacled restraint creature;
    Mean and Lockheed the dragon don't like each other at all, but they work together as needed;
    Mephisto of Reality-616, Ernest Thatchel of Reality-616;
    at least formerly Cyclops-5311;
    formerly James Howlett-1880, Major Logan-811, Patch-181, Weapon X-520, zombie Wolverine-6195, and the robots Albert-5211 and Elsie-Dee-5211; Wolvie of the X-Babies, numerous other alternate reality Wolverine counterparts;
    formerly/sort of Hutch (son of Illyana Rasputin-2937; he was manipulated by Mephisto and Ernest Thatchel)

Known Relatives: None

Aliases: The Fiend with No Name (bit of a misnomer), "fuzzy" (nickname from Kitty), "midget" (nickname from Lockheed)

Base of Operations: Mobile on Earth-3511

First Appearance: Uncanny X-Men I#153 (January, 1982) mean-5311-beercanbullets

Powers/Abilities: Mean has some degree of enhanced strength, speed, and at-least olfactory senses.

Mean is apparently kyphotic, with a spinal curvature commonly described as "hunchback."

As a Wolverine counterpart, he likely has enhanced healing as well, but this has not been confirmed.

Mean typically travels via superficially tunneling through the ground, whipping up a whirlwind and leaving a mole-type tunnel behind him (akin to Bugs Bunny's Tasmanian devil).

Mean can extrude three approximately one foot long metal claws from the lateral surface of each of his wrists at well. These claws are extremely sharp and can cut through most materials; they are likely composed of Adamantium or some similar material native to his reality.

Mean has a long, prehensile tongue, with which he is particularly skilled at catching a can of beer, which he then chomps down on, consuming its contents and then spitting out the can.

He can use his tongue to pull a whole six pack of beer into his mouth, crunch down on it, drink all the beer, and spit out the crushed cans with bullet-like speed/force.

He either inhales or swallows lit cigars whole.

Mean briefly possessed dragon-like wings that allowed him to fly.

"I'm the best there is at what I do; and what I do is guzzle b--uh, commit mayhem!"

Height: Unrevealed (approximately 3')
Weight: Unrevealed (approximately 200 lbs.)
Eyes: Typically shown as solid white (no visible iris or pupil)
Hair: Black (including sideburns); orange-brown fur on arms mean-5311-uxm153-full

History:
(Uncanny X-Men I#153 (fb) - BTS) - Mean was attracted to Lady Jean, who instead loved Prince Cyclops (according to Mean, she had feelings for him as well). Mean resented this and blamed Cyclops for having stolen her from him.

(Uncanny X-Men I#153) - While Colossus, Pirate Kitty, Prince Cyclops, the genie Windrider, and the Wizard Xavier discussed how best to deal with the corrupted Phoenix/Jean Grey; and while one Bamf fended off other Bamfs, hoping to romance Kitty himself; Xavier noted an approaching whirlwind.

    When Kitty instructed Colossus to "armor up" as this could be trouble, Mean advised her "sweet young thing -- that ain't the half of it." When she asked who he was, he replied, "I'm -- Mean!!"

    Thirsty from having come a long, hard way via digging, the thirsty Mean consumed a beer and then prepared to throw down with Cyclops, seeking vengeance for Cyclops having "stolen" Jean. After Mean shoved Kitty out of the way to get to Cyclops, Colossus picked up Mean and threatened him.

    Mean extended his claws, advising Colossus that no one laid hands on him and lived, but when the giant dragon Lockheed approached and identified Mean as dessert, Mean yelled out and dove on Colossus shoulders; Kitty advised them both to behave themselves.

     Mean flew with the others atop Lockheed in search of Phoenix, who soon confronted the group. Mean stabbed Lockheed with one of his claws to make him unleash a flame blast against Phoenix, although everyone fell off Lockheed as he reared back in pain.

    To save them, Windrider granted the non-flighted former passengers wings (or something similar; Mean received dragonwings).

    Confronted by an irate Lockheed, Mean tried to explain that he was just doing his bit for the cause; Lockheed returned the favor by swatting Mean with his tail, causing him to slam into Phoenix's back.

    Phoenix warned Mean that he had tempted fate for the last time, but he locked hands around her waste, telling her, "Talk is cheap, Star Mama."

    Mean distracted Phoenix long enough for Xavier to unleash Jean's pure soul against Phoenix, allowing Jean to return to her original form and expel the Phoenix into space. mean-5311-wing

    Windrider presumably removed the wings from Mean and the others.

(Nightcrawler I#3 - BTS) - After Shagreen the Sorcerer abducted the other Bamfs and traveled to the Fangs of Doom, the last free Bamf used a horn to summon Lockheed to bring himself, Nightcrawler-616, and Lockheed-616 (the latter two having been accidentally transported to that realm) to fly them to the Fangs of Doom.

(Nightcrawler I#3 (fb) - BTS) - Hearing what he though sounded like a steam engine being eaten by a bagpipe, Mean decided to check it out.

(Nightcrawler I#3) - Arriving on the shore outside Bamff village, Mean introduced himself, considered that he possibly made a wrong turn back at Albuquerque, lit a cigar and inhaled or ate it. When Nightcawler asked if this was who the Bamf had summoned, the Bamf told him that this guy couldn't fly and barely had a grip on standing up. Angered, Mean warned the Bamf he looked to be sandwich size, but then the giant Lockheed-5311 arrived and reminded Mean that Mean was snack-sized for him; Lockheed-5311 instructed Mean to stop threatening his friends...and to stand downwind. After Nightcrawler explained the situation and Lockheed agreed to fly them there, Mean decided to come along as he had been itching for a fight; the Bamf considered that Mean was actually itching from fleas. En route, they picked up Colossus and Pirate Kitty.

    As they approached the Fangs of Doom island, however, a set of tentacles grabbed Lockheed-5311 and pulled him underwater, leaving his passengers to fall into the water (Shagreen had an anti-teleport spell in effect). As they made it to the island, Mean noted that he hated being wet and that it made him want to kill something. A flock(?) of Dreadwings then arrived and attacked them, and Mean chomped down on his six pack of beer and spit out the empty cans like bullets that perforated a nearby Dreadwing.

    With Dreadwings having taken Kitty, Mean and the others traveled to Shagreen's fortress, whose gate shut behind them. Following Kitty and the Bamf's scents, Mean led the others though the seemingly endless tunnels and chambers, noting they were still a long way off just before Shagreen teleported Mean and Colossus to his side.

    Shagreen used a tentacled creature to restrain Mean and Colossus next to Kitty.

(Nightcrawler I#3 - BTS) - Shagreen's Dark Bamf (a mystic composite of the other male Bamfs under his control) defeated Nightcrawler and brought him to Shagreen, who had him bound by the others; only the sole free Bamf escaped capture.

(Nightcrawler I#3) - Shagreen announced his plans to serially convert the others flesh and bone into the substance of his own arcane power.

(Nightcrawler I#4) - After Nightcrawler corrected Shagreen that he was not a Boggie (see comments), Mean noted that Nightcrawler was a Bamf (he isn't/wasn't), and either Nightcrawler or Shagreen told him to shut up.

    After Windrider arrived to join the fight, Nightcrawler inadvertently tickled the restraint creature and then continued tickling it until it released all four captives.

    Ultimately, Nightcrawler shattered Shagreen's staff of power, reverting the Dark Bamf into its component Bamfs and was transported by the magical backlash to Earth-99476. When Windrider asked where the tall, good looking Bamf went, Mean clarified that Nigthcrawler wasn't a Bamf, but rather a Boggie. Yelled at again for being wrong, Mean added, "I don't care what he is, long as he's gone!" mean-5311-exiles86

(Exiles#85 (fb) - BTS) - The Timebreakers (insectoid alien explorers who discovered the Panotpichron and used it to "fix" damaged realities) gathered and sent a group of alternate reality Wolverines to Earth-127 to stop Brother Mutant (a merger of Magneto, Mesmero, Quicksilver, Scarlet Warlock, and Wolverine, created after the Scarlet Warlock tried to transfer Wolverine’s skeleton into Magneto). After the Wolverine group fell under Brother Mutant's control, the Timebreakers repeatedly gathered other groups of alternate reality Wolverines (perhaps 10-20 altogether), each of whom also fell under Brother Mutant's control.
Mean was within one of the earlier groups was Mean.

(Exiles#85) - After the Timebreakers summoned the young James Howlett-1880, Major Logan-811, Patch-181, Weapon X-520, zombie Wolverine-6195, and the robots Albert-5211 and Elsie-Dee-5211, these Wolverines were assaulted by Mean and all of the previous Wolverines under Brother Mutant's control.

(Exiles#85 (fb) - BTS) - Wolverine-811 convinced the Timebreakers to send him to Earth-3470 to meet with the Timebreakers' previous Exiles agents -- Blink and Sabretooth-295, Heather Hudson-3470, Longshot of the Mojoverse associated with Reality-616, Morph-1081, Power Princess-712, and Spider-Man-6375 of 2099 AD -- who had a successful history in such missions.

(Exiles#86 - BTS) - These Exiles enabled the remaining members of the last Wolverines squad -- James Howlett-1880, Major Logan-811, zombie Wolverine-6195, Albert-5211 and Elsie-Dee-5211 -- to slay Brother Mutant, liberating the minds of all surviving Wolverines.

(Exiles#86 (fb) - BTS) - Heather Hudson-3470 returned Mean and the rest of the alternate reality Wolverines to their native realities. mean-5311-xmu37

(X-Men Unlimited I#37) - Mean was one of numerous Wolverine duplicates summoned to Earth-616 via a plot involving Mephisto manipulating the mutaphobic Mr. Thatchel and the interdimensional being Hutch. Mephisto and Thatchel sought to summon mutants from all realities to Earth-616 and then destroy that world. Mean mocked Wolvie of the X-Babies or someone similar and tried to flirt with Jean Grey.

(X-Men Unlimited I#37 - BTS) - Ultimately, Hutch rejected Mephisto's plan and returned to the interdimensional space from which he had come; Mean and all the other alternate reality mutants were presumably returned to their own realities.

(Deadpool: Too Soon? Infinite Comic#6 (fb) - BTS) - Mean joined the multiversal team of the Seething Snikters a baseball team consisting of Albert of Earth-616, Weapon X of Earth-295, Wolverine of Earth-811, Wild Thing of Earth-982, Wolverine of Earth-2301 and Wolvie of Mojoverse.

(Deadpool: Too Soon? Infinite Comic#6) - Mean and the Seething Snikters were send to Earth-616 where they played a friendly game of baseball against the multiversal Amazing Arachnids with the Sleepwalker acting as umpire. However, their game was interrupted by Deadpool who sought to warn Spider-Ham of the shadow-demon Paen-Umbra. The aggressive Snikters and the Spider-Men weren't too pleased and attacked the man but managed to escape.

Comments: Created by Chris Claremont, Dave Cockrum, and Josef Rubinstein.

In Uncanny X-Men I#153, Kitty tells the story of Pirate Kitty's adventures to the young (pre-Magik) Illyana as a bedtime story. Of course, in an infinite Multiverse, there's a reality that matches every possible scenario. And, sure enough, we started seeing the characters from this seemingly made up story in other appearances. As clarified in the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe: Alternate Universes' "Kitty's Fairly Tale" profile, "Kitty somehow subconsciously tapped into an actual alternate reality (Earth-5311) while telling her story."
Whatever circumstances that might have allowed this are unrevealed, but I don't have the time or the energy to list all of the possibilities.

Although called "The Fiend with No Name" in his first appearance, but in Nightcrawler I#3 he confirmed his real name as not just an adjective/description: "I'm Mean!"

Boggies are extra/other-dimensional creatures similar to Nightcrawler and apparently from a different dimension than the Bamfs, who are also similar to Nightcrawler; Bamfs and Boggies are distinctly different beings. It was a running joke where Shagreen, who had previously fought the Boggies, referred to Nightcrawler as a Boggie. Nightcrawler repeatedly denied this, and when Nightcrawler arrived in Reality-5311 and was compared to the Bamfs, the joke/confusion continued.

Uncanny X-Men I#153 is the issue immediately before my first subscription to the X-Men started.

Profile by Snood.

CLARIFICATIONS:
Mean should be distinguished from:

images: (without ads)
Uncanny X-Men I#153, pg. 15, panel 5 (whirlwind);
          panel 6 (full, with case of beer);
       pg. 16, panel 1-4 eating can of beer);
       pg. 22, panel 3 (wings);
Nightcrawler I#3, pg. 8, panel 5 (emergence from ground, claws extended);
        pg. 9, panel 1 (profile);
       pg. 18, panel 4 (full, claws extended)
X-Men Unlimited I#37, pg. 22, panel 2 - if I use it
Exiles#85, pg. 12, panel 1 (with other alternate reality Wolverines);

Appearances:
Uncanny X-Men I#153 (January, 1982) - Chris Claremont (writer), Dave Cockrum (penciler), Josef Rubinstein (inker), Louise Simonson (editor)
Nightcrawler I#3-4 (January-February, 1986) - Dave Cockrum (writer/artist), Ann Nocenti (editor)
Exiles#85-86 (October-November, 2006) - Tony Bedard (writer), Paul Pelletier (penciler), Rick Magyar (inker), Sean Ryan (assistant editor), Mike Marts (editor)
X-Men Unlimited I#37 (September, 2007) - Kaare Andrews (writer, pencils), Mike Kunkel, Dave McCaig, Joshua Middleton, Troy Nixey, Skottie Young (pencilers), Pat Duke, Mike Kunkel, Dave McCaig, Joshua Middleton, David Stewart (inkers), C.B. Cebulski, Mark D. Beazley, David Bogart (editors)
Deadpool: Too Soon? Infinite Comic#6 (November, 2016) - Joshua Corin (writer), Todd Nauck (pencils), Reilly Brown (pencils, inks), Jordan White, Heather Antos (editors)

First posted: 10/21/2019
Last updated: 10/21/2019

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

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