PRIVATE NORMAL

Real Name: He

Identity/Class:  Extradimensional/alternate reality (Earth-333333333) extraterrestrial (Briton)

Occupation: Unrevealed

Group Membership: None

Affiliations: None

Enemies: Batman (Bruce Wayne), Captain America (Steve Rogers), Daredevil (Matt Murdock), Iron Man (Tony Stark), Mister Fantastic (Reed Richards), Ms. Marvel (Carol Danvers), Mugging Squad (Doctor Doom/Victor von Doom, Electro/Max Dillon, Green Goblin/Norman Osborn), Namor the Sub-Mariner (Namor MacKenzie), Spider-Man (Peter Parker), Thor Odinson, Wasp (Janet van Dyne)

Known Relatives: Ma and Pa Norman (adoptive parents, both deceased)

Aliases: Norman Norman, The Not-At-All-Super-In-Any-Way-Man

Base of Operations: Heeville, Earth 331/3

First Appearance: Marvel Madhouse #1 (June 1981)

Powers/Abilities: Private Normal has no superpowers of any sort, and is in fact a below average physical specimen even for a normal person. He once caught and may still suffer from radiogamma sickness, and has a slight limp.

Height: 5'4" (by approximation)
Weight: 100 lbs. (by approximation)
Eyes: Unrevealed
Hair: Black

History: (Marvel Madhouse #1) - As an infant He was sent by rocket from the dying planet of Britain to Earth, his passage through space witnessed by the Watcher. His pod crashed through the bedroom window of a married couple, the Normans; Mrs Norman was delighted to see it contained a baby, but Mr Norman was disinterested. Struggling to lift his teddy bear, it became clear that under Earth's dense gravity He proved even weaker than he would have been on his homeworld. Ma and Pa Norman adopted the child, naming him Norman Norman, and he lived a boring small town life until he was twelve, when his parents were murdered in front of him by a mugger. Luckily he hadn't been particularly fond of them, so the tragedy failed to twist him into a dark vigilante of the night.

 

    When he was fifteen, fate stepped in as a swarm of radioactive, gamma-ridden bats hit town, passing Norman's window just as he doused himself with Brut 331/3 aftershave, the one thing that drives radioactive bats batty. When one flew in Norman's window, he took it as an omen; seconds later he was attacked by a whole gaggle of omens. The attack had a strange effect on Norman - it left him suffering from radiogamma sickness and with a strong dislike of bats.

 

    To make matters worse, the ambulance taking him to the hospital suffered a 300mph collision with the Batmobile. Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, the surgeons began to rebuild Norman into something better than he was before, but before they started they discovered he wasn't paid up on his National Insurance, so they didn't bother. Norman emerged from hospital almost exactly the same as he had been before, except that he now had a slight limp.

 

    Norman first became aware of his normality when he was sixteen (see comments), when it drew the unwanted amorous attention of the Wasp and Ms. Marvel, who both had a fetish for the rare "normal types."

 

    As his life progressed Norman found himself increasingly harassed by superhumans, such as when he was attacked by Captain America and Namor while he was minding his own business peacefully fishing by a river. The last straw began when he was spotted in the street by a crowd of heroes who decided to ensure the "normal dude" wasn't mugged, then presented him with a protection bill. When he angrily told them he wasn't paying and to mind their own business, they departed, warning him he would be sorry, and sure enough, mere seconds later, a group of supervillains mugged him.

 

    Battered and bruised, Norman decided it wasn't fair and that it was time for someone to stand up for the normal man. However, since he was the only normal man left, that meant he had to stick up for himself. Rapidly stripping down to his underpants, Norman declared himself Private Normal, the Not-At-All-Super-In-Any-Way-Man, then climbed out his ground floor window, ready to take on the world, and was immediately arrested by Captain America and Iron Man for exposing himself. As they hauled him off he vowed to return, because with no power comes no responsibility.

Comments: Created by Tim Quinn and Dicky Howett.

    Norman appeared in the one-off strip "Earth 331/3: The Motion Picture." Since the Core Continuum Designations used by the Handbooks don't allow for fractional values (or decimals for that matter), the CCD number can't be 331/3; instead it's 333333333, to echo how thirty three and a third would be written in decimals.

    None of the superhumans Norman encountered were identified by codename or civilian identity in his story; however, other Earth 331/3 appearances established that the codenames of the Marvel ones were the same as their 616 counterparts (there were also DC heroes seen from time to time), so I'm ASSuming that all recognizable heroes and villains share their respective "main" universe counterparts' identities.

   It's probably worth mentioning that the age of consent in the UK is 16; thus, during the sequence where two adult heroines go lustfully after Norman when he was stated to be only 16, their actions remain immoral, but not actually illegal.

Profile by Loki.

CLARIFICATIONS:
Private Normal has no known connections to:

Ma and Pa Norman

Ma and Pa Norman adopted He when his rocket crashed through their bedroom window, and raised him until he was twelve, when they were murdered by a mugger. Though they seemed reasonable enough parents, he wasn't all that close to them.

Comments: I'm guessing Ma's real name was Martha.

--Marvel Madhouse #1

images: (without ads)
Marvel Madhouse #1, p6, pan9 (main image)
Marvel Madhouse #1, p6, pan1 (headshot)
Marvel Madhouse #1, p4, pan2-3 (arriving on Earth)
Marvel Madhouse #1, p5, pan1 (attacked by a gaggle of omens)
Marvel Madhouse #1, p5, pan3 (hit by the Batmobile)
Marvel Madhouse #1, p5, pan7-8 (amorously pursued)
Marvel Madhouse #1, p5, pan10 (attacked while fishing)
Marvel Madhouse #1, p6, pan10-11 (arrested for exposing himself)
Marvel Madhouse #1, p4, pan4 (Ma and Pa Norman)

Appearances:
Marvel Madhouse #1 (July 1981) - Tim Quinn (writer), Dicky Howett (art), editor unknown

First Posted: 08/03/2020
Last updated: 08/03/2020

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

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