S.P.A.F.O.N.
(Superfluous Powers Anonymous Friendship Opportunity Network)
Membership: Birdwatcher,
Go-Getter, Larry "Weightwatcher" Lebenstein, Press-On, William
Sklar, numerous others
Purpose: Provide support to people with
trivial or useless powers
Affiliations: None
Enemies: None
Base of Operations: Over 30 chapters across
the USA
First Appearance: Marvel Year-In-Review '92
I#4 (1992)
History:
(Marvel Year-In-Review '92 (fb) - BTS) - S.P.A.F.O.N.
(Superfluous Powers Anonymous Friendship Opportunity Network) was
established as a support group to help people cope with trivial or
useless powers in a world of high expectations from people with
super-powers. S.P.A.F.O.N. grew to over 30 chapters across the USA,
mostly in the greater New York City area, becoming the largest such
support group in the country. It welcomed all, including mutants and
mutates. S.P.A.F.O.N. developed a 12-step program to help such people
cope and gain personal legitimacy, that they didn't have to justify
their powers or feel compelled to save the world. Larry Lebenstein
became head of the Manhattan chapter.
(Marvel Year-In-Review '92) - Bob Washington
interviewed Lebenstein and several members, and covered S.P.A.F.O.N.'s
activities for an
article.
Comments: Created by uncredited writer, uncredited artist.
Maybe Arcade got to them and nobody noticed...
There were only two illustrations in the "article".
I'm not sure just how in-continuity this
parody/satire mag is supposed to be - the editorial describes it as "a
news magazine set in the Marvel Universe"...
Profile by Grendel Prime.
CLARIFICATIONS:
S.P.A.F.O.N. has no known connections to:
Birdwatcher headed the Los Angeles chapter of
S.P.A.F.O.N. His unique power was being able to sense, no matter his
own location, exactly when swallows returned to Capistrano (California). He was in
demand only once a year from talk shows and Weather Channel appearances.
--Marvel Year-In-Review '92 I#4
Through unrevealed means, Go-Getter developed the
mental ability to manipulate traffic lights. He supported his college
studies with part-time taxi driving, but denied any commercial use of
his powers, acknowledging it would be a crime. Nevertheless, reporter
Bob Washington claimed he had the fastest cross-town ride with him as
driver.
--Marvel Year-In-Review '92 I#4
Larry "Weightwatcher" Lebenstein
Larry Lebenstein has the mutant ability to accurately
count the calories of any foodstuff upon contact; this earned him the
nickname Weightwatcher. He initially helped dieters and food research
labs, even
the F.D.A. (US Food & Drug Administration). Constant use of his powers led him to be able to accurately
measure fats and carbohydrates too. Lebenstein became head of the
Manhattan chapter of S.P.A.F.O.N. He later gave an interview and
provided access to S.P.A.F.O.N. for Bob Washington's article.
--Marvel Year-In-Review '92 I#4
The blond woman who would become Press-On was having
her fingernails done one day when radioactive material spilled onto
her. Passing out, she recovered in hospital, but found only her nails
had become extremely sharp, strong and fast growing, able to cut
through virtually anything like glass and steel - except that her
fingers and cuticles would become swollen and bruised. Only a particle
accelerator beam could cut the nails, but that became too expensive.
Her career as a hand model over, she sometimes worked as a stunt
double for a horror movie character or as a figure model for Lady
Deathstrike. Feeling humiliated and rejected, she still spoke at
S.P.A.F.O.N. gatherings,
garnering applause in her caped costume.
--Marvel Year-In-Review '92 I#4
Aged 14, William Sklar whimsically decided to bathe
in his father nanochemical formula for tensile-strength extending
properties at the atomic level. This gave the youth the ability to
inflate his limbs into a spheroid shape, almost blimp-like, making him
fairly impervious to harm, but susceptible to breezes. He named himself
the Astonishing Puffball and applied with a resume to various teams,
lying about being a mutant to X-teams. These were all
unsuccessful. His one solo adventure led him to being easily rebuffed
by the Beetle and an embarrassing headline from the Daily Bugle
newspaper. He became desperate to use his powers, sharking carnival
weight games for cheap prizes, before realizing he'd hit rock bottom.
Then he found help at S.P.A.F.O.N.
--Marvel Year-In-Review '92 I#4
images:
(without ads)
Marvel Year-In-Review '92 I#4, p13 (main image)
p14 (Go-Getter)
p13 (Press-On)
Appearances:
Marvel Year-In-Review '92 I#4 (1992) - uncredited writer, uncredited
artist, Tom Brevoort (comedy consultant), Evan Skolnick (editor)
First posted: 08/19/2019
Last updated:
08/19/2019.
Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.
Non-Marvel Copyright info
All other characters mentioned or pictured are ™
and
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